George Clarke launches into potty-mouthed rant with public toilet confession (original) (raw)

George Clarke, who returns to Channel 4 for his Remarkable Renovations, shared his frustration about modern-day life, where he passionately complained about what happens in train toilets

George Clarke says he sounds like a 'real whinging old man.'

George Clarke is best known as the softly-spoken property enthusiast, but modern-day living has recently riled up the star.

Following a string of successful Channel 4 shows, George, 49, proudly from the North East, has won an army of fans for his considered, articulate and calming thoughts about properties and architecture on TV. But he showed his more cynical side when he launched into a sweary tirade about being met with constant noise when out and about.

One of his bugbears, he revealed, comes with train travel. In particular, being spoken to on the tannoy to take his belongings with him and the warning messages when it comes to using the public bathroom on board. When appearing as a guest on a motoring podcast, he shared his excitement for 'silent' electric cars, before going into an attack on how life is now filled with constant background noise, leaving him unable to urinate in peace.

The presenter went into a rant about being spoken to by machines in supermarkets and on trains (

Image:

Channel 4)

Joking that he would be ready for a starring role in the sitcom One Foot in the Grave reboot, he told the Fuelling Around podcast: "The more electric cars we have, which I’m really excited about, the quieter the built environment is going to be. I wrote a piece recently and sounded like a real whinging old man.

"I was talking about how I just can’t stand noise. Noise is unwanted sound. I don’t mind sound - they’re lovely things you love to listen to. The amount of noise we have now is just insane.

“I’m going to sound like a proper Victor Meldrew. Everyone’s talking to me all the time: ‘Scan this, scan that’, ‘please place the item on there’, ‘tap this’, ‘do you have an advantage card?’ ‘Leave the train at the next station’. ‘Don’t forget your personal belongings’. Why am I going to forget my personal belongings? You don’t have to tell me every time. We’re wrapped in cotton wool.

“‘The toilet door is locked, the toilet door is unlocked.’ Yeah I know, because I’ve locked it! You don’t have to tell me all that. I went on a Virgin train recently and I went for a p*ss and I got to the toilet and the door shut and then this woman’s voice went: ‘Hello, I’m the toilet. Yes, I’m the toilet and I’m talking to you.’

“I don’t want a f*cking toilet to talk to me. I’ve come in for a quiet p*ss, just leave me alone." He went on: "People not using headphones and blasting their phones out on the train. It drives me mad. I don’t even make phone calls on trains. I text someone back and say ‘I’ll call you when I get off the train’. I don’t want anyone to listen to my call.

“People ring and they’re like: ‘yeah, how are you doing? Have you had a good day? Yeah, great. What are you doing later? I don’t know, do you fancy meeting up?’ Just f*cking text them!"

The architect, best known for George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces, left co-host Jason Plato - TV personality and retired racing driver - in stitches with his pedantic musings. The proud Mackem discussed his love of cars, their design as well as his upbringing and career during his appearance alongside the former British Touring Car Championship hero and ‘Comedy’ Dave Vitty, once of Radio One fame.

“What I’m getting excited about, particularly with electric cars, is they’re just so quiet,” Clarke added during the episode. “Obviously you’ve got the army of people saying: ‘You need to put artificial sound on there because it’s going to be dangerous’. No we don’t, we just don’t have to do that. It’s just ridiculous. They’ll say ‘what about people who have got vision problems and can hear the car come?’ People who have got vision problems are phenomenal.

"They are amazing at how they navigate a quiet or a noisy built environment. They’ll just get used to it and adapt. “I think it’s going to make a big difference, especially when electric lorries and things like that come in. Lorries make a staggering amount of noise, just the level of friction that they’ve got of their tyres on tarmac - it’s unbelievably noisy.”

*George Clarke's Remarkable Renovations returns tonight on Channel 4 at 8pm