Mum 'heartbroken' after finding out dark secret about son after two years (original) (raw)

A woman has shared her heartache after discovering she is not her two-year-old son's biological mother - and now wants to give up her parental rights over him entirely

She is divorcing her cheating husband (stock)

A woman has been left heartbroken after discovering she is not her son's biological mum after suffering through a long IVF process.

The 36-year-old explained how she has been with her husband, 35, for almost 10 years, married for seven, but was unable to conceive a child naturally with him due to her fertility issues.

Instead, they saved up for IVF treatment and asked her friend to be their trusted surrogate through the process. But two years after their son's birth, the woman has learned a "heartbreaking" truth that has shattered the bond she felt with her husband, child, and best friend.

Taking to Reddit, she said: "I had always wanted to be a mum. Devastated is an understatement regarding how I felt when I found out I had a medical condition that would make it nearly impossible to carry a baby to term.

"We started looking into the cost of a surrogate. It is really expensive! My close friend since college who'd already had two kids of her own offered to serve as the surrogate for us to cut down on costs. After two disappointing IVF sessions that did not result in pregnancy, she became pregnant on the third try and carried a boy to term for us.

She says she worked extra hours throughout the surrogacy process, knowing they'd need all the money they could get to support their son. She added: "My friend and my husband started talking more and I would sometimes come home from my weekend job to find her already hanging out at our house when my husband was there.

"I chalked it up as innocuous and it's good for her to know my husband better since she was in the process of hopefully carrying our child for us."

But now, two years on, the woman has started to re-question how much time her husband and friend spent together after a recent hospital visit

She added: "It all came to a head when I took our son to a doctor's appointment and they did a metabolic panel and blood tests which showed that he had a blood type that is not biologically possible to have with me as his mother. (He's B+, I'm A+, husband is O+)."

Worried, the woman originally thought the clinic implanted the wrong embryos and was readying to call a lawyer for backup. But, she says the truth hurt even more than this. She added: "I looked into having a DNA parentage test done. The test results showed that I'm not the mother but my husband still is the father.

"I was heartbroken and angrier than ever, talked to lawyers about medical malpractice in the fertility clinic we'd used. Then my husband confessed that he'd slept with my friend (our surrogate) on a few different occasions during our struggle to have her get pregnant with our embryos.

"This means what I thought was our son conceived by IVF and carried with a surrogate, isn't my son at all and was conceived the old-fashioned way, which I can't ever do. Livid and absolutely broken at the same time doesn't even begin to describe how I feel! I have been breaking down into crying spells over and over again about this.

"I felt an immediate triple betrayal – from what was supposed to be my husband, my friend, and now knowing my child isn't even really mine.."

Devastated, the woman has started to file for divorce from her husband - but also says she doesn't want anything to do with her son now knowing he is not biologically related to her.

She has also cut ties with her friend and has moved back in with her parents while she gets herself sorted. She said: "My husband and "friend/surrogate" admit they were wrong and keep apologising but also called me immature and heartless to just give up on my son like that. My parents also say I can't just give up on a kid that I went through so many legal and medical hoops to have.

"When I told them I refuse to stay in a cheater marriage and I'd rather adopt someday with a better more trustworthy partner, they also told me I was wrong and that maintaining my parental rights isn't much different than if I adopted outright. They said it isn't blood that makes a family. They are all about me divorcing my cheater husband but keep telling me I'm making a mistake by giving up my parental rights."

While most users shared their shock over the woman's situation, others backed her decision to walk away and start a new life. One user said: "Yeah, you gotta do what's right for you here." Another user added: "I could not look at the child without resentment and betrayal. That is so unfair to the child." A third user added: "As a product of an affair, I didn’t find out until I was 38/39, I am telling you if your heart is to not love this child, leave."