Transsexual Tries to Build a New Life (original) (raw)
Transsexual Tries to Build a New Life
https://www.nytimes.com/1972/11/20/archives/transsexual-tries-to-build-a-new-life.html
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Nov. 20, 1972
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Robert is a slight but well built 26‐year‐old man with a deep, resonant voice and eyes that flash with intelligence. He spent more than 20 years of his life as a confused and unhappy female. Now he is trying to build a new life for himself as a male. He decided to tell his story to help those who may feel as he once did.
“Since I was 5 years old, I knew I wanted to be a boy. I liked to play ball, ride horse back and shoot rifles. I couldn't have cared less about dolls. As I got older, I had crushes on other girls all the time. But all I ever felt toward boys was jealousy.
“I had no understanding about what I was—I had never heard of transsexuals. At 15, I was thrown out of high school —they accused me of being a lesbian and gave me a medical discharge. It was then that I started wearing boys' clothes.
“At 17, as an experiment, I had sex with a man, but it didn't do anything for me, and I decided I must be homosex ual, although I never really felt comfortable in a homosexual crowd. By then I had made sev eral suicide attempts and been through three mental hospitals, but nothing changed.
“At 20, I made a protected stab at normalcy—I married a man who I knew was a homo sexual. This solved problems with my family, but I was mis erable. I was dressing as a fe male, and I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. The marriage was never con summated, and after a year and a half, we got divorced.
“Immediately, I went back to men's clothes, and I began taking hormone shots—testos terone, which I got illegally. This eased my tension some what, and my voice deepened.
“But I still had a problem. I wanted the sex‐change surgery and I couldn't get it. I had no money and Johns Hopkins had a waiting list a mile long. I worked for a while as a male impersonator, but I wasn't earning enough to save any thing.
“Although socially I was ac cepted as a male everywhere, I had no identification and I couldn't get a job. Finally, I got a job where they didn't care, but then they assigned me to the female locker room. The other women were not exactly happy about that.
“I started going with a girl. She encouraged me to come here [to Downstate] to see Dr. Jones, and after a week of tests I was approved for sur gery—their first case.
“Now I have a new body, a new birth certificate and a draft card—one of the few Americans who's proud of it. I let my sideburns grow, but I could never wear my hair long or wear high‐heeled shoes. These are things I've always associated with being feminine.
“My family has been fantas tic. Everyone has accepted my surgery very well. And I can deal much better with them now.
“Physically, it's a different life. I am accepted and can function as a male in society without being stomped to death. But emotionally, there's no difference. I've always been a male, as far back as I can remember.”
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