How to Write a Thank-You Note (with Perfectly Worded Examples) (original) (raw)

A thank-you note got me my first real job. As a newly minted college graduate with no work experience, I was having a tough time finding my first grown-up gig. I thought I’d never get a break until I heard back from a college that wanted to hire me as a tenure-track professor. I was stunned. When I met with the dean, my future boss, she told me that sending a card with a nice thank-you message after our interview made me stand out. That’s the power of knowing how to write a thank-you note.

“Thank-you notes can change the world,” says Kelly Browne, an expert on note-writing etiquette and the author of Ways to Say Thank-You: 101 Notes of Gratitude for Every Occasion. “These two little words convey heartfelt meaning and flood both you and the recipient with warm feelings, creating an ongoing cycle of gratitude and happiness. It’s the magic of gratitude.”

Etiquette expert Jan Goss agrees—so much so that she always carries a baggie of small thank-you cards in her purse. “Never pass up an opportunity to leave a thank-you note. It can make someone’s whole day,” she says.

Not sure what to say? Whether you’re thanking a friend, a service worker, your child’s teacher, a colleague or a potential employer, we’ve got you covered. I’ve combined my decade-plus experience as an etiquette writer with the know-how of two etiquette experts—one specializing in business, the other in note writing—to help you write the most heartfelt thank-you cards. So read on for our experts’ advice on how to write a thank-you note, and get thank-you note examples that’ll help you get started.

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How to write a thank-you note

Writing a thank-you note doesn’t have to be a complicated or stress-inducing task. Here is Browne’s step-by-step guide to how to write a thank-you card:

1. Write the date

Writing the date helps people connect your thank-you message to the event you’re expressing gratitude for. Many people like to keep thank-you notes, and the date will help them remember the occasion. If you’re sending a text or email, the technology will take care of this step for you.

2. Write a greeting

Depending on your relationship with the person, you can start your thank-you note with a casual “Hi,” “Hello” or “Hey,” or you can opt for a more formal “Dear” followed by their name.

3. Write what you are thankful for

“This is the most important part of a thank-you card, so be as specific as possible,” Goss says. In other words, don’t just say “thanks.” Include details, such as what they did and how it affected you.

Did your pals take you out for a birthday dinner at the vegan restaurant you love? Let them know you’re grateful for the chance to sit back, relax and celebrate without worrying about what you could eat. Did your child’s teacher spend extra time tutoring on a tough topic? Tell them how your child now talks excitedly about the subject at home.

4. Share how it made you feel

Adding a sentence to acknowledge how their kindness brought you joy, inspired you, lifted you during a dark time, made you laugh or gave you other positive emotions is the icing on the thank-you cake, Goss says.

5. Write a closing sentiment

A cheery “Thanks” is the most common closer, but you can reiterate your gratitude with “Thanks again” or a more formal “Sincerely yours,” each followed by your name.

In what instances do you need to send a thank-you note?

“There’s really no wrong time to send a thank-you note,” Goss says. “Gratitude is always appreciated.”

That said, there are some occasions when you really should send a thank-you. “The top reason to send a thank-you note is after receiving a gift,” Browne says. “This is a must. When you don’t acknowledge the gift you have received, they may worry you didn’t get it. It can hurt their feelings, and they may even reconsider sending you a gift in the future if they feel unappreciated.”

And yes, even if you don’t like the gift, you should still send a thank-you note—but there’s no need to mention that it wasn’t what you wanted or that you’ll be returning it, Goss says. “A simple ‘thank you for thinking of me with this sweet gift’ is enough,” she says.

Always send a heartfelt thank-you:

Examples of thank-you notes

'Dear' handwritten on paper.SYNERGEE/GETTY IMAGES

Plenty of etiquette rules have changed in the past decade, but sending thank-you notes is not one of them. Of course, just because you know you need to send a thank-you doesn’t mean you know how to write a thank-you note that fits the occasion.

It helps to have a starting point. With that in mind, we’ve rounded up some examples that’ll teach you how to write a thank-you letter whether you’re mailing a card after a job interview, expressing gratitude for a gift, shooting off a text to a friend who helped out in a pinch or saying thanks for some other reason.

Professional thank-you letter

You can improve your chances of being hired by learning how to write a thank you note after an interview. A couple basic tips from the pros: If you were interviewed by multiple people, send each one a separate, personalized thank-you note. If you’re emailing your thanks, make sure you know and stick to the basics of email etiquette.

Sample thank-you note:

Dear Ms. Smith,

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me this morning. I really appreciated the opportunity to learn more about the role and gain insight into what working with the team would be like.

This is exactly the sort of position I am hoping to secure in order to progress in my career. I was especially interested to hear about the management aspects of the role. As we discussed in the interview, my relevant communications skills and team-building experience make me a great fit for this position.

Thank you again for your time. I hope to hear from you soon regarding next steps.

Yours sincerely,

Mike Jones

555-555-5555, [email protected]

Thank-you note for a gift

When someone in your life gives you a gift or does you a big favor, it warrants a handwritten thank-you letter. It’s the best way to show your gratitude.

Sample thank-you note:

Dear Bill,

Thank you so much for the grilling set. We used it for the first time last night and had the best barbecue chicken of our lives! Please let us know when you’re back from vacation so we can have you over for dinner and show off our new grilling skills.

Thanks again for the perfect gift.

With love,

Taylor and Jack

Thank-you note for attending an event

Etiquette experts advise sending thank-you cards whenever you host a major event—think wedding, milestone anniversary party, vow renewal celebration, graduation and any other occasion where people generally give you gifts. Tackling a list of thank-you notes can be intimidating, so here’s a tip: Keep a list of gifts and senders as you unwrap them. It will make your thank-you letter writing so much easier!

Sample thank-you note:

Dear Matt and Lisa,

Thank you so much for celebrating our wedding with us! One of the best days of our lives was even more special because you were there. You have our heartfelt thanks for the beautiful and generous wedding gift too. We will think of you whenever we use it!

Thank you again for being part of our wedding day.

Warmly,

The happy couple

Thank-you note for a helpful deed

Acts of kindness can be a reward unto themselves, but you can double the good vibes by recognizing the generosity of the helper and thanking them for it, Goss says.

Sample thank-you note:

Hey, Jenny!

I just wanted to drop you a quick note to tell you how grateful I am for all your help after I had my surgery last week. Thank you for watching my kids, cooking dinner and cleaning up the living room. You made my recovery so much easier. I couldn’t ask for a better neighbor and friend!

Thanks a million,

Ashley

Thank-you message for a gift of money

Gift cards, cash and Venmo are all popular gifts, especially for life events like graduations and weddings. Your thank-you note should express your gratitude for the money and the person’s thoughtfulness, Goss says, and it’s a nice touch to add something specific you might spend it on.

Sample thank-you note:

Dear Grandma,

Thank you so much for your generous graduation gift. You are so thoughtful, and I know it will be a great help as I start college this fall. I’m thinking of getting a mini waffle iron, and every time I use it, I’ll remember how much you love me.

Love and hugs,

Molly

Thank-you text

Sending a quick thank-you text message in the moment allows you many more opportunities to be grateful, Browne says. Because you’re probably texting someone who is already in your contacts, there’s no need to include their name or yours in the message.

Sample thank-you note:

“Thanks so much for dropping Axel off after soccer practice tonight. You totally saved me!”

What’s the best way to send a thank-you note?

With a red envelope nearby, a woman's hands write a "Thank You" note inside a greeting card.Pikusisi-Studio/Getty Images

“The classic handwritten thank-you note—written on nice stationery, in ink and sent through the mail—is the gold standard,” Browne says.

But not all thank-you notes need to be that formal. “Depending on the occasion and your relationship with the other person, a text or email thank-you message may make more sense,” Goss says.

One such example is when writing a thank-you note after an interview. You can send it to the business via its mailing address, but if all of your communication has been through email, then sending a thank-you email is appropriate, Goss says. (Bonus: Your note of gratitude will arrive faster, and it’s the best option for remote workers.)

Texting a “thank you” is the most informal option and should be used for moments when you want someone to know immediately how grateful you are for their act of kindness, Browne says. Using a text to thank someone for a gift or larger act of service is controversial in the etiquette world, but it’s always better than not sending any type of thank-you, Goss adds. Generally speaking, younger people are more likely to appreciate (and send) thank-yous by text.

Adding a thank-you gift with the card is a lovely way to convey extra gratitude or respect. Keep the gift relatively small and something you know that person would like or could use. If you’re unsure, go with small plants, flowers, hand soap or a local food (like honey). Avoiding giving alcohol unless you’re sure it would be welcome, as many people don’t drink for personal or religious reasons, Goss says.

When should you send a thank-you note?

The ideal timing of your thank-you note depends on why you’re expressing gratitude. Browne offers these guidelines:

“When in doubt, send it as soon as possible,” Goss says.

How late is too late to send a thank-you note?

You’ll ideally follow the above guidelines to send a timely thank-you. But the bottom line from both our etiquette experts: It’s never too late to send a thank-you note. “Thank-you notes are appreciated even years later,” Goss says. For example, when you thank a teacher who made a big impact on your life—even decades after leaving the classroom—it can truly touch an educator’s life.

Other tips for writing a perfectly worded thank-you note

Goss’s top thank-you writing tip? “The important thing is to write it and send it. Don’t worry about perfection,” she says. That said, our experts have some other tips to help your thank-you notes stand out.

“Lastly, I always recommend people create a thank-you note box,” Browne says. Get a box with a lid and fill it with an assortment of thank-you notes, a packet of postage stamps, your favorite ink pens and anything else you may want to include to make your correspondence uniquely you. “Having everything in a go-to box makes it so much easier to send your love and gratitude,” she says.

About the experts

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions, as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. For this piece on how to write a thank-you note, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who specializes in etiquette and communication for Reader’s Digest. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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