The bones of you (original) (raw)

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Serial killers, guns in rivers, dying children, Lego romance, and so much more this week in Port Charles. The closer it gets to Halloween, the scarier it gets! Let's discuss in this week's Two Scoops.

My dear readers, I love love. I love passion. I love songs about soul-stirring, heart-aching passion. I'm a hopeless romantic even though I'm old enough to be cynical. There is a song I adore by a band named Elbow called "The Bones of You." It has this perfect line in it, "But I love the bones of you , and that I will never escape..."

Isn't that a Sam and Jason kind of line? They can keep their distance, they can try to fight it, but whenever they are in a room together, that tension hangs in the air above them. They love the bones of each other. They can't help it. They just do. While examining his crayoned family portrait, Danny got Jason to admit he still loved Sam (a.k.a. Mommy.) I leapt for joy a little when I found out Danny was going to Grandma's house for the weekend, and Jason and Sam were going to be left alone. I was downright giddy when their lips touched on Friday. Hey, writers, more kisses, please.

Admittedly, I didn't see their long-awaited moment of passion exploding after playing with Legos, but hey, I'll accept whatever gets things in motion. The writers have been dragging out their reunion FOR-EV-ERRRRR, and it's been hard to accept. Just give it to me now! This pace is totally unrealistic.

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If you loved someone wholeheartedly and possessed the soulmate kind of connection that Jason and Sam share, can you imagine being in the same town and avoiding each other for a year? Yeah, me neither. There is absolutely no way those two humans with a 15-year history of pure love would be able to stay away from each other for this long. There is that unseen pull of magnet and steel! In the same situation, I'd be unashamedly parked on his doorstep every night when he got home from work, waiting to catch a glimpse of him.

But the writers haven't given us that kind of obsessive love. Every time they meet, it has been so clinical, talking about homework and dropping off kids, or some matter of business. It's been bugging me. They had a moment on the Haunted Star, but that was so long ago. You don't just forget that kind of love. You can't put it off. You can't ignore it. I want to see that played out on my screen.

When Steve Burton returned to GH -- I honestly didn't want the Sam/Jason reunion to happen too fast, because I wanted them to honor the solid relationship Sam had with Drew. They had chemistry. They had a spark. They have baby Scout, they were good together -- I liked their chemistry. But then, Sam's real husband came back from the dead...so, game over. (P.S. If you haven't watched Manifest yet, you should -- that is, if you like cheesy sci-fi like I do. They have a similar storyline right now: woman's husband disappears on a missing plane, is presumed dead -- and then the plane miraculously lands five years later, and he gets off, totally fine!)

Back to Port Charles. I know many people are in the Drew and Sam camp. I understand that. But you have to admit that the only reason that Drew and Sam had a relationship at all is because Sam thought Drew was Jason. But there was always something nagging her -- it didn't feel the same. When the real Jason dropped through that ceiling, we knew it was only a matter of time, but not this much time.

The writers took it slowly. I was glad for that. They honored Sam and Drew. They took their breakup slowly; they let the characters all take a breath and find their footing. But then it Just. Kept. Dragging. On.

Enough already. Give me the payoff. I want my big, romantic reunion! Let these two destined souls connect. Please let me see their unstoppable, uncontrollable passion. I want it to take my breath away. I want a romantic daydream. I want to escape. Please, GH writers, give a girl a break.

Drew is kind of busy taking care of Kim and his dying son Oscar right now, anyway. He won't even notice.

Across town, another reunion is taking place, but not the one we expected. I was delighted to see our beautiful Genie Francis at the door. Glad Laura is back home in Port Charles.

Laura is home and itching for a reunion with....Not Kevin. Lucy is being Flirty McFlirterton and bringing chicken soup to...Not Kevin. Laura and Lucy are having a little kitten fight over...Not Kevin. Ladies, ladies, don't fight over Kevin's evil twin, Ryan, the escaped serial killer. I'm sure he'd be happy to use his strangling clothesline on both of you.

I confess I am reaching into the depths of my brain to remember things here. It has been so many years, I can't quite recall -- did Ryan know Laura? I know he knew Lucy, but I can't recall if he ever interacted with Laura before. Do any of you remember? (I.e., are any of you as old as I am?) Does anyone else remember when Lucy Coe was a frumpy, mousy librarian? (No, really, I swear.)

How long can Ryan fake a cold to keep from sleeping with his "wife"? If Laura succeeds in seducing him, won't she be able to tell she's not with her husband? I don't know the ins and outs of twins, but one assumes they aren't entirely identical...This is going to be a thrill ride. I'm happy they brought Genie back to an actual storyline with some intrigue and danger and excitement! I hope she's the one to bust Kevin out of Ferncliff.

Rumor has it that Nicholas J. Bechtel is coming back as Spencer. That is great news. I love that kid! One small problem, however....since they aged Josslyn and Cameron, I guess Spencer will have to be content to play with Emma when she comes to town to visit Grandma Anna. She's the only other kid who is still his age. Methinks Spencer will be able to smell a rat. I think he's old enough now to not believe any crazy stories about Chupacabra.

The last time I wrote, I was complaining about the lack of romance, and now things are heating up for several couples. Let's move on to Kiki and Griffin! I predicted these two would end up together one day. I think we all knew that Ava was never going to be able to behave herself for a long-term relationship.

Kiki and Griffin now live in the same super-hot apartment building where they are forced to undress to bear the heat, they are wildly attracted to one another, and neither of them hate the idea of sticking it to Ava by hooking up again. A match made is Soap Heaven. Action Item: Stop right now and picture Ava's face if Kiki gets pregnant by Griffin. I think I'm going to love this coupling even though the "I slept with both the mom and the daughter" storylines are always super creepy. I cannot in a million years imagine that ever happening where my Mom and I would have been attracted to, and slept with, the same guy. Gross!

Readers, you may be mad at me for saying this, but I don't hate the idea of Griffin going to work as a medical expert for Peter's magazine. That could bring a lot of fun storylines to the Invader and to us! On the down side, GH is running very light on doctors and nurses right now. I think it's just Elizabeth and Terry with occasional Monica sightings. For a soap called General Hospital, we don't have very many medical personnel who are actually practicing medicine right now.

Except for Ryan, who is doing fake therapy sessions with all the town's most unbalanced patients. I think he really took a shine to Ava. Do you get the same sinking feeling I do that Ryan will lead all the Port Charles crazies who come to him for therapy down a very dark path? Halloween is coming, and GH loves to parade its villains like a Disneyland Spooktacular parade on Halloween.

Readers, I hated it when Nathan died. I hated to lose Ryan Paevey from GH (although I do love his Hallmark movies). With that having been said, I genuinely delight in the relationship of Peter and Maxie. I thought they might be like Julian and Alexis, broken beyond repair, but I see glimmers of hope. Maxie has grown as a character and has become much more self-aware. She realizes that she has been forgiven a lot, so it's easier for her to forgive others. That's the reason I am so great at grace, too -- because so much of it has been extended to me in my life because I have made so many colossal errors.

This will be a slow burn. Maxie and Peter are just starting to repair the trust that was broken between them, and baby James may help them bond, but I think eventually, it will lead to more for the two of them. Are you okay with that? Can you, as a viewer, forgive Peter for staying quiet about Faison? I hear the Britch is coming back. Is she coming to get revenge for her mother, Liesl, or is she coming to be moral support for her lying friend Brad?

Now to the Corinthos clan. Mike said he dumped the gun in the river, and Sonny is in the clear. Do you believe him? Does he have any idea what he's talking about? I can't imagine they would make such a big deal about this storyline for so long if it was going to fizzle out and be nothing. Either Mike is wrong and he didn't dump the gun, or maybe a mysterious shark that swallowed the gun will wash up on shore in Port Charles and spit it onto the docks right as Margaux is having her morning cappuccino.

It seems like Oscar is going to die. Maybe they will pull a last-minute miracle cure out of their hats, but it seems like the writers are leading us to the hopelessness of his situation over and over again. A trial where participants die, a doctor mom who kept this from her kid for years because of the hopelessness of his situation, etc. Oscar and Joss will surely make up, but probably just before he dies. Or, prediction B, he won't tell Joss, she will get involved with Cameron, and Oscar will be cured then pine over Joss for the rest of his days.

I like the fact that this crisis is bringing Kim and Drew together. They had some real chemistry together in various scenes -- but seriously who doesn't have chemistry with Billy Miller? He's all chemistry, all the time. On both The Young and the Restless and GH, he makes every scene he is in more sparkly.

Maxie found a way to try to forgive Peter, but Nina can't even consider forgiving Valentin when he worked to track down her presumed-dead daughter? Maybe after begging Sasha to let her in, she will be more sympathetic to her husband. If she doesn't forgive him pretty soon, he should go hit on Lulu. A) They share a child. B) Lulu is super lonely for Dante. C) She thinks she hates him but is vulnerable enough to be won over by kindness, and Valentin has a great capacity for kindness. I love Valentin too much to keep watching him with that yearning, broken look in his eyes.

Did you see Lulu's face when Nu-Jordan partnered new detective Valerie with Dante's partner Chase? I'd like to remind everyone that Chase was new five minutes ago, so him teaching Valerie what he has just barely learned will be the blind leading the blind. I know Lulu is thinking "My stupid cousin is stealing another man from me!" because Lulu was getting so dependent on Chase's company in Dante's absence. Will Valerie and Chase hook up, or is Valerie more interested in Kristina? It could go either way. Or both ways. We will have to wait and see.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Ava and Carly mud-wrestle over visitation for baby Avery? Will Ryan fall for Ava, and they can be happy villains ever after? Will the local Wal-Mart contact the police about the guy who keeps buying yards of clothesline on the 25th anniversary of the Ryan Chamberlain strangling murders and happens to look just like him? Will Nina's daughter be as feisty as she is? Will Nikolas Cassadine come back from the dead and stroll through the tunnels of Wyndemere on Halloween to save his mama from a madman?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

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