Doctors said my husband was depressed but it was actually something else (original) (raw)

My 38-year-old husband's 'child like' behavior was diagnosed as depression but it turned out to be something else

A woman was thrown for a loop after doctors revealed that her husband was suffering from a rare form of dementia instead of the previously diagnosed depression

Sile Tankov ( right) said that she first began noticing something strange with her husband Stefan (left) during the Fall of 2022

A woman was thrown for a loop after doctors revealed that her husband's strange behavior resulted from dementia after initially claiming that it was a combination of depression and Type-2 diabetes. Sile Tankov first noticed the change in her husband, Stefan, in the fall of 2022 when the 38-year-old man began emotionally withdrawing from her and taking on several "child-like" qualities.

Tankov, a middle school teacher, said that she first noticed the difference in her husband when he stopped asking her how her day was and instead started asking what was for dinner. The woman told The Daily Mail that Stefan had become unusually rigid about the time he wanted to eat dinner and then would go straight to bed after.

According to the woman, Stefan began asking for her help with the most basic tasks, including getting on the bus to visit her while she was in the hospital. Tankvo told the outlet that her husband struggled to keep a job as the changes continued and because very withdrawn with his wife and would often forget to do certain tasks that she had asked him.

Sile Tankov ( right) said that she first began noticing something strange with her husband Stefan (left) during the Fall of 2022 (

Image:

Sile Tankov)

Chalking up the recent changes to depression, she scheduled an appointment with their local physician. In one of the tests, it was discovered that Stefan had Type-2 diabetes and it was concluded that this and the depression were the causes of the mental changes. "We thought it may have been causing confusion but he didn’t improve," Tankov told the outlet. "Halfway through one doctor’s appointment, he got up and left. I had to bribe him with a McDonald’s to come back. It was like dealing with a child."

Things reached a breaking point when six months after the visit, her husband approached her while they were in a liquor store and told her that he had been banned from ever returning. According to the woman, the owner of the shop had caught Stefan repeatedly trying to steal bottles of wine.

Stefan's concerned family decided that it was time for the man to visit the hospital where doctors told the stunned wife that Stefan's cognitive function was "very low." The doctor told Tankov that he had ordered an MRI and a CT scan for additional information.

According to doctors, Stefan was diagnosed with a rare form of dementia (

Image:

Sile Tankov)

While they waited for the results, Tankov took Stefan back home to care for him. As the days progressed Stefan began acting more and more like a child. "One morning I found him about to put his hands on the stove which was bright red, to see if it was warm," she said. "He’d wander off, walk in front of cars and stare at people. We stopped going out. He started vaping and was incontinent."

"I don’t know how I coped. I was lucky I could take time off work, but needed to go back or we’d have no money," she added. Weeks later, Tankov got a call from the hospital saying that the results had come in. After driving her husband back to the emergency room, doctors delivered the news that Stefan had apparently developed a rare form of dementia called — frontotemporal dementia.

According to the Mayo Clinic, frontotemporal dementia affects the areas of the brain that are primarily associated with personality, behavior and language. The clinic states the rare disease usually develops in those between the ages of 40 and 65. "I was in complete shock...we were hoping to have a family," Tankov said. After the diagnosis, the woman revealed that he husband was put in a nursing home before moving back to the hospital where Tankov could only spend an hour with her regressing husband.

In July 2024, Stefan was moved to a brand new nursing home. However, the entire ordeal has put a massive strain on Tankov. "You don’t expect to find yourself buying soft toys for newborns because your 40-year-old husband has started chewing the teddy bears he needs to get to sleep and you’re worried he could choke," she said. The woman has also said that the entire experience has been very isolating for her as many of the people there are visiting elderly parents and she is there visiting her husband.

However, Tankov has found solace in her family, friends, colleagues, neighbors and even the Alzheimer's Society. "He’s happy in the home and I love being there with him, even if it’s just to get into the bed beside him and give him a hug," says Tankov. "There are little signs that make it all worth it, like when he sings along to a song my brother wrote, or gives my hand a squeeze. If I say I love you, he’ll say, 'I love you so much.' When I look back, those happy moments are the memories I want to have."