By the pricking of my thumbs, Somthing wicked this way comes. (original) (raw)

I'm probably never going to finish writing on this issue despite all of my claims otherwise.

I have sent Bellyra an email explaining what I had been feeling and deep down what I believe and what I hope for and want. I even mentioned a dream that I had that I feel portained to the situation. I have asked her to take her break and not to leave, but that if she does to spell it out to me in an email.

I'm so dumb sometimes that I miss the obvious. I need to be told things.

As for the sitution...

My slant on it, emotions aside is that we have both overreacted emotionally and things have gotten way out of hand. What the true sitation is, is probably something in between what we both believe. Deep down I don't want her to go and I don't believe I have been lying to her. I've been confused and have contradicted myself, but part of me has believed everything I have written to her and in my journal.

At the moment she says she will never believe anything I ever say ever again. That's her choice but this is the truth. Despite what all my friends, all my work colleagues and family have said this is the truth:

She has been one of my best friends for the past 10 months and a coven mate for as long. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to believe all the people who keep telling me that this is over and for the best. Deep down I don't want to believe that.

I am confused and I have asked her to take the three weeks break rather than leave so we can both sort out how we feel so we can resolve this without anger. It was what she suggested a few days ago, I'm just a bit slow. Things take a while to sink in. But if she agrees I am going to stop listening to what others are telling me and follow my heart on this situation.

It's pretty much all I can offer at this point in time. But AS said it best: things wouldn't be the same without either of us in the group.