| 9:22 am - For old time's sake... |
| And because I'm bored and can't leave until morning rush hour dies down...01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?Nope.02) What was your dream growing up?I wanted to be a whale trainer for Sea World.03) What talent do you wish you had?I wish I could be better at math. And I'd love to go back to being a devout gymnast and swimmer.04) If you bought a drink what would it be?If we're talking alcoholic, I'd love some Heineken. If it's non-alcoholic, I'd go with clear soda like Sprite or Squirt.05) Favorite vegetable?Asparagus all the way.06) What was the last book you read?"Survivor" by Chuck Palahniuk. <33307) What zodiac sign are you?Gemini.08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.Both ears are pierced, including my left tragus. I also have two tattoos (one on each shoulder blade).09) Worst Habit?I'm a worry wart.10) If you saw a friend walking down the street would you offer them a ride?Sure, as long as I knew them relatively well.11) What is your favorite sport?Competitive swimming and diving. Anything equestrian is awesome, too.12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?Mostly optimistic. I find that constant pessimism is a real energy drainer.13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?Without access to electronics? I'd probably do what I do best: reorganize whatever I can-- most likely my purse, which tends to be a black hole for whatever I throw into it.14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?I had a horrible kidney infection back in 2007. I was hospitalized for 2 days and out of work for about a week (it was my first job ever, too. Great timing).15) Tell me one weird fact about you.I can put both feet behind my head...?16) Do you have any pets?Not right now. But I plan on adopting a cat relatively soon since I'm now living alone.17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?Assuming you're someone I know, I'd do the polite thing and invite you in. No problem there.18) What was your first impression of me?N/A19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?Scary, especially since this whole "creepy clown" epidemic has started. Clowns that chase people with bats, knives, and chainsaws are not clowns that I wish to interact with. Let's just say that I double- and triple-check that all of my doors and windows are locked every night; I also have sticks in the tracks of each sliding door in preparation for the off chance that someone successfully picks one of the locks (yes, the clown thing has made me paranoid).20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?I'd want to be a little taller.21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?I'm the kind of person who would likely be someone's conscience. How do you think I've avoided ever getting into any major trouble?22) What color eyes do you have?Blue/green.23) Ever been arrested?Nope.24) Bottle or can soda?Either one. The flavor is more important.25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?Pay off ALL of my small debts, save a chunk of it, and treat myself to my final tattoo with another chunk.27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?Depends on who I'm hanging out with.28) Do you believe in ghosts?Yes. Not kidding.29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?Write, paint, crochet, pull up random funny YouTube videos, etc.30) Do you swear a lot?Not really.31) Biggest pet peeve?People who are chronically flaky. You can waste my money, as I can get it back later. Same goes for my energy as a whole, as I can get more of that as well. But time is not something I can get back. Ever.32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?Conscientious.33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?On the rare occasion that it's genuine? Sure. But at the moment it isn't something I'm prepared to focus on, as I'm in the middle of a divorce.34) Favourite and least favourite food?Favorite: sushi, Italian anything, Japanese in general, and Chinese.Least favorite: anything with olives or onions in it, as well as anything super spicy.35) Do you believe in God?To put it simply, yes. (comment on this) |
| 8:34 am - The process continues... |
| Well, I'm all moved into my new location and it's finally starting to feel like home. I'm also finding that it's nice to be single after bending over backwards for someone for 3 years without any real, positive results. Now I can throw myself into whatever I want without another person saying, "Are you done yet? Are you done yet? What about me? Are you done yet?"My next batch of college courses start in the spring, which means I have all of fall and winter to work and accumulate as much income as possible before I have to reduce my hours to part-time. I feel very fortunate in the sense that I have a family and a group of friends who are totally supportive of my decision to end my marriage and go back to school. After I earn my degree and have a chance to work in my new tech writing position for a while, I will likely have the ability to purchase a home for myself-- no help from my parents or any guy that I may be seeing by then (I do plan on remaining single for at least a year-- I have no desire to rush into something new with anyone right now, and that feels perfectly fine).I love the feeling of not being afraid to NOT be in a relationship. Being on my own and molding my life into what I want is actually pretty exciting. I haven't had a chance to do so since I lived in my last apartment in 2013. This whole life change was obviously way overdue. And bonus: today I am going downtown to accept a new position as a receptionist at a pain clinic (I got my "acceptance email" yesterday. Yay!). Not only do I now have my own source of income, but my ex will not be around to pounce on my money as soon as it rolls in, wanting to know exactly what I plan to do with it. Freeeeeedom! (I don't care what he thinks. I AM wise with my money and I'm perfectly capable of managing my own finances. I CAN survive without him and I'm smart enough to rebuild my own life.)Anyway, that's the latest for now. My health is finally noticeably improving and I can't wait to take advantage of my lower pain levels as that part of my life continues to get better and better. Thank you so much to everyone who has come out of the woodwork to offer support. You've all made my life seem so much brighter during this strange and somewhat confusing/overwhelming period. <3current mood: Relieved (comment on this) |
| Tuesday, October 11th, 2016 |
| 6:34 pm - I figured I may as well update this thing again. |
| For those of you who still read this blog (whether I've met you face to face or you only know me via LJ), here's the latest scoop on my life, primarily because I never thought my path would veer off in this direction: I am officially in the process of filing for divorce. I must have neglected to update my blog after getting married, because I honestly don't remember mentioning the event. But yes, that's the latest. And no, I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be. My support network is wider than I thought it would be and I've relocated to a new residence. Now to take care of the legal side of it all. Now to turn this new house into a home. (comment on this) |
| Monday, June 23rd, 2014 |
| 8:11 pm - iPhone? Nahh... |
| I must say that I'm quite impressed with my new Windows smart phone (and it was only $70). Not missing Apple products yet. (comment on this) |
| Monday, June 2nd, 2014 |
| 4:03 pm - Ah, love... |
|
| Sunday, June 1st, 2014 |
| 2:22 pm - 25 |
So... Another year comes and goes, and it's weird to think that I'm 25. Halfway to 50? Really??Kyle has plans for us tonight, but he won't tell me what they are. The hints that he has dropped indicate that it's something big. I can't wait! When he makes plans for us, he does a great job.I heard from almost all of my friends from Germany today. I miss them so much and I can hardly wait to see them again!Dinner tomorrow night with Kyle and my family. Looking forward to that, too. Time to walk the beagle. It's a perfect day for it: clear blue sky and temperatures exceeding 75 degrees (<3).current mood:  excited (comment on this) |
| Tuesday, January 28th, 2014 |
| 2:30 pm - Break time jump-around ramblings |
Moving day is tomorrow.I've packed about 3/4 of the stuff in our apartment.Beagle probably needs to be walked.I feel like geeking out on Penn & Teller's "Bullshit", but I know I'll lose a bunch of time if I do that.It's really cold in here even though the thermostat is turned up to 75 degrees.I need another "creative streak" but I'm not sure how to initiate one.Oh, well... It'll come in its own time.I just realized that as of June 4th, I will have been in possession of this LJ account for ten years. Crazy.You know how the front door is left hanging open all day long when you relocate? I fucking hate that.I have three days off this week, one of which I will spend freezing to death (tomorrow).Lately I've been wishing that I would have realized how insecure my peers were in high school (mainly during the first two years). Maybe then I wouldn't have disliked most of them so much.Why must we remember the horrors we endured in high school anyway? It's not like they matter anymore (I like myself a lot better now anyway).Actually, if I could do high school over again, I would be a lot more self-assured and easygoing. But hey, we live and we learn.I miss indulging myself in photography. As soon as the weather warms up, I'm going to dig into it again.I also miss doing poetry readings. Why did I stop doing those again?I miss running. I can't wait to buy my new Nikes.I miss taking weekend trips to the coast. Can't wait to save money on rent and splurge on a weekend get-away.I missed everything, really-- it's nice to have my pain under control again.Did I mention that I'll be moving to Texas within the next year or two?current mood:  drained (1 comment | comment on this) |
| 1:28 pm - As the foundation shifts... |
My grandma recently found out that she has cancer of the bladder. Being the tough woman she is, she really tried to avoid complaining or asking very much of anyone. After many appointments, she had an exploratory surgery yesterday to determine whether the cancer could be removed safely. It turned out that this was not the case. My mother, who is an RN and has acted as her medical advocate for years, told me that the prognosis is a few months. In the meantime, palliative radiation and chemotherapy will be used "for comfort". Perhaps I haven't fully processed all of this yet. I feel a bit numb and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. All I can figure is that the best I can do is be as present and helpful as possible. I can accept that. It's just that the process of accepting the inevitable and functioning around it is going to be a bear. Illness and death happen. I realize this. But to be honest, I've never lost someone that I was really close to. The idea of such is beyond my comprehension. I figured that articulating all of this might help me in some way. But then again... I just don't know at this point. How does one deal with the inevitability of losing such an important member of the family? It's beyond me. I know I should be putting my energy into enjoying the time I have left with her-- I guess there's a very real fear factor surrounding this. In addition, I'm not just concerned about how I will deal with her no longer being with us-- I am far more concerned about how the rest of my family will deal with it. My family has consistently been my "rock". What happens when that rock falls apart? I can't fix it for everyone. I realize this, too. But there has to be some kind of balance-- some kind of solution-- somewhere...On another note, I feel very fortunate to have a certain someone to hold my hand through all of this (you know who you are). Thank you. <3current mood:  anxious (comment on this) |
| Tuesday, March 26th, 2013 |
| 11:38 pm - Stupid, stupid, stupid. |
| Stupid cold sore.Stupid attitudes from other people.Stupid 7-day work week.Stupid funk that I'm stuck in.Also, why do I put so much energy into people who don't deserve it?I don't understand myself sometimes. (comment on this) |
| Wednesday, March 6th, 2013 |
| 10:20 am - Going to Munich |
| I booked my plane ticket on Monday, which means this trip is now set in stone. The next couple of months are probably going to drag by, to be honest. But at least this gives me plenty of time to organize everything. This will be my first time traveling abroad, so I want to have a really firm idea of what I'll be doing.My mom has let me borrow her Fuji street bicycle, which I plan on using tonight. My goal is to ride at least 4 days per week. Frankly, it sounds like much more fun than walking on a treadmill.What else can I fit in here before I have to leave for work? Hmm......I need to start writing short stories or poems again. I wouldn't call my life "boring" per se (not to me, anyway), but I do need more material for this blog. I should probably also go back to updating my Grasshopper account.Yeppers... Cool beans...Peace out.(Wow, how lame.)current mood: Durrr.... (comment on this) |
| Friday, February 15th, 2013 |
| 4:23 pm - Europe! |
| It looks like I'm most likely going to Germany in June for a friend's wedding! I can't wait!!Yeah... Just had to put that out there. (comment on this) |
| Monday, February 4th, 2013 |
| 10:27 pm - Oh, February... |
| Being a debt collector is still going pretty well. It is a challenging profession is all aspects, but I do enjoy working for Wells Fargo. Last week I was moved to a different section of the collections group, which has required me to put more advanced skills into practice. The good news is that there are more incentives to be earned, so I'm eager to see how the next few months will play out. I really like my new supervisor, too. She seems to genuinely want all of her team members to succeed, which makes me feel more confident about moving to this new area. I'm beginning to understand our customers' thought processes a little better, which has allowed me to improve my stats. It works better to insist on HELPING them as opposed to simply hounding them for money. Granted, the main objective is to prevent the bank from taking a loss. But customers seem to be far more cooperative if they feel like they are speaking with a human being as opposed to a talking head from a massive corporation. With that being said, one of my new goals is to polish my ability to balance assertiveness with expressing empathy when necessary (I am already very good at the latter). The thought that has made my job easier is simply, "The worst a customer can do is refuse to pay." I have a big advantage in my workplace since I never actually see my customers face to face. So even if they become irate, I'm in no danger. So really, I have no reason to feel nervous or apprehensive when I'm on the phone.Anyway, bedtime. Goodnight, all.current mood: sleepy (comment on this) |
| Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012 |
| 9:24 am - A month blows by... |
| The first month of being completely on my own has gone pretty well. Once the stress of moving came to an end, I started to fall back into the normal swing of things. I've gone back to doing research on the things that interest me most, as well as working on miscellaneous projects here and there. My professional life is still treating me reasonably well (especially since I'll be receiving a raise within the next three months as long as my performance stays up to par). I love the people I work with, as well as the fact that the bank treats its employees pretty well. So... no complaints there.Interestingly enough, I thought I would be lonely living alone after a month. But to be completely honest, I'm pretty happy living on my own since I can afford it. I feel no need to bring in a roommate or anyone else just for the sake of their constant presence in my immediate living space. I LIKE being able to do whatever I want without needing to check with anyone else (other than management, if it's something that involves drilling holes in the walls). And I like the idea that, in essence, I am building a life here that is my own. Now that things are beginning to settle down, the trick will be keeping up on the financial part of my life.Don't misunderstand-- I don't want to live alone forever. Quite the contrary, actually. But I believe that everyone should live on their own at some point if they are capable of doing so. It presents so many opportunities for growth, and I will not take them for granted. I have SPACE to develop my sense of self now that I'm out of my old, stressful living situation, and I love that fact. I may even bring a kitten home sometime within the next few months (since raising a puppy is out of the question at this juncture)-- and no one can say anything about it as long as I tell management that I have a pet and the kitten is well taken care of. We'll see if things pan out in such a way that I'm able to do so. That's about it for now. October is here (my favorite month), and I definitely won't waste it. I'm going to try to spend as much time outdoors as possible.current mood: Content/Calm (2 comments | comment on this) |
| Wednesday, September 5th, 2012 |
| 9:31 am - Calling in sick... sucks. |
...But at least I finally have time to write a little. I stayed at my family's place last night since my apartment turned into a sauna during the day, and I think I may stick around until tonight (as contradictory as that sounds when I compare this with my last two or three posts). At the very least, I can use this time to take advantage of the "free" Internet connection since mine won't be hooked up until Monday. In the meantime, I need to find some yellow root tea or something. Someone said the Native Americans swore by it for generations because of its ability to kill bacteria (but apparently they would actually take the risky route and eat it in its raw form). Needless to say, I'm definitely curious about it. But the challenge is going to be actually finding it. I also need to make the bathroom into a sauna so I can sweat this thing out (I'm trying to avoid using a nanny pot as much as possible). Sickness aside, I'm doing fine. I've almost completed the process of straightening out my apartment. All I need to do now is find a couch at a reasonable price (hello, Craigslist and Goodwill). I checked out a couple of local furniture stores last week and I was surprised at the high prices (the lowest price I found was about 800foraloveseat).IdidmanagetofindacouchatGoodwillfor800 for a love seat). I did manage to find a couch at Goodwill for 800foraloveseat).IdidmanagetofindacouchatGoodwillfor40, but the condition of the thing left me feeling rather wary. I also need to find a coffee table, but I probably won't purchase one until next month, when I've had some time to save a portion of my paychecks. The process of filling an apartment with the essentials sure is fun...I'm off to get more rest so I can return to work tomorrow. Take care, all.current mood:  Blaaagghh (comment on this) |
| Wednesday, August 15th, 2012 |
| 10:10 am - Learning to Tread Water |
Life can turn into one giant immersion program in the blink of an eye. In other words, when one is tossed into the deep end of the pool, they must either learn to tread water and swim, or they will drown.Despite the fact that life in general is about to become more challenging, I am glad that I won't need any life preservers from my immediate family. As long as I have the right resources, what better way is there to learn than to support myself along the way?current mood:  Determined (1 comment | comment on this) |
| Tuesday, August 14th, 2012 |
| 1:27 am - Tying Everything Together... |
| In addition to my job with Wells Fargo, I am-- as of three days ago-- the official renter of an apartment for the next 12 months. And this apartment is mine, and mine ONLY. As in, one bedroom/one bathroom and no roommates. I've been waiting for this opportunity for about three years, so I'm VERY excited about my move-in date (which is ten days from now). My wages will allow me to cover all of my bills without any help, which I'm quite thrilled about. No more feeling indebted to my mother or anyone else.I don't regret paying the fees needed to obtain my apartment, nor do I regret paying for renter's insurance or for my account with the electric company. As of August 24th, I'll finally have as much breathing room as I want. No more feeling afraid of my mother's constant threats to stop paying for my car/health insurance (which she utilizes whenever I do ANYTHING that rubs her the wrong way). I am finally able to pay for all of that on my own. I know I already mentioned that, but I have to say... the feeling is AMAZING. The first month will be tight because of the security deposit, but once I recover from that, I'll be good to go for a while.I hope you're all well. Take care.current mood: Drowsy (1 comment | comment on this) |
| Thursday, July 26th, 2012 |
| 7:20 am - Apologies for my spotty updating habits. |
So... Life... When it happens, it can happen quickly and dramatically. As of nearly a month ago, I work for Wells Fargo (full-time) and I'm in the middle of transitioning from my family's house to my own apartment. Yes, MY OWN apartment (yay!!!).Needless to say, Pizza Hut didn't work for me. Ultimately, my boss made it nearly impossible for me to work a reasonable number of hours per week (usually six to eight hours maximum even though we originally agreed on ten to twenty). Anyway, I may tell the rest of the story at a later date, but I'm MUCH happier working for Wells Fargo. The company treats its employees very well, and I like what I do as a whole.Again, my apologies for the spotty updates. My life has been rather crazy since April, and I actually completely forgot about LiveJournal for a while. But hopefully I'll be around more often since it's July and I'm not juggling any college courses at the moment. Things are starting to brighten up, so I'm also betting on the chance that they will continue to improve (not living with my family is going to make a massive difference in my ability to sustain a reasonable level of happiness).Off to work now. Take care.current mood:  Busy (comment on this) |
| Tuesday, December 6th, 2011 |
| 10:41 pm - Employment |
| I finally landed a new job this afternoon (in fact, I was hired on the spot)! After a year of sweating over being unemployed and biting my nails through financial issues, I feel incredibly relieved. It'll be nice to do something that doesn't involve slaving away in a packed call center. Instead, I'll be delivering pizza. While this might sound like a drag to many of you, I'm looking forward to it because I actually enjoy driving. Not only that, but I really like the manager who hired me (she's very good-natured, and she believes in making the training process as simple and stress-free as possible).As I said before, I'm sure I sound far more excited about this than most people would. But in all honesty, I've reached the point where any source of income is extremely appreciated (earning tips is something I'm looking forward to as well). This is also a part-time job, which is going to work with my current academic situation. So yes, this is all very good news in general. I'm very excited to start training this Friday!(Perhaps my year-long state of financial stagnation is finally coming to a close.) current mood: Encouraged (2 comments | comment on this) |
| Monday, October 17th, 2011 |
| 12:18 pm - Holding On |
| Alright, I am reaching the cusp of _desperation_-- I need a job and a chance to move away from my immediate family. In some ways, I was a lot happier while I was living in my first apartment (despite the fact that my roommates were extremely difficult to share space with). I am on a mission to find people on campus who are also looking to move sometime within the near future. Work-study is something that I'm going to have to be much more aggressive in pursuing if I have any hope of leaving my current situation.NOTE: Moving back to Dallas is definitely not an option. Upon moving out a couple of months ago, I fully realized the reasons why I should not live in that house on a consistent basis. Staying there from time to time just to crash for one night is manageable... But living there full-time would quickly drive me nuts yet again.The next few months are going to be interesting. My quest for a part-time job is going to continue until I actually land something. If I find such a job, my schedule is going to be filled to the brim with things to do (my weekends will lose their element of restfulness). But hey, I only have another 18 months or so to go before I finally graduate from college and I can find a job that I truly care about. I'm just hoping that I have what it takes to survive the academia that will manifest within that time. I'm only into the fourth week of fall term and I'm already feeling quite tired (hopefully it's just an issue of adjustment and not a case of waning enthusiasm).More to come. Off to class (again).current mood: Drained (3 comments | comment on this) |
| Wednesday, October 12th, 2011 |
| 10:46 am - If I were wiser and less bitter... |
| If I were wiser, I probably wouldn't have replied to my father's latest letter. He sent it to me THROUGH my employer, which caused me to look unprofessional. In the letter he listed his e-mail address, phone number, and personal mailing address. I took it upon myself to create a new e-mail account and respond to his letter, telling him what I really think of what he did. I probably should have kept to myself, but I've received enough letters from him that were manipulative, passive-aggressive, and just plain nasty in their nature. I felt the need to bring those letters to a stop, and I didn't want to have to go through an attorney to tell him to do so.I'm not even entirely sure if I should be posting this here, but I have to say that I was thoroughly irritated by his letter. When someone has put your family through as much grief as he has, there comes a time-- especially after 15 years-- when one must finally speak up. I must say, I feel a little better knowing that he read my e-mail. But at the same time, I'm wondering if he could track me down somehow, even if I wrote the e-mail from a computer at my university...Just wanted to put that out on the table. Off to math class now.current mood: Whatever (comment on this) |