How to Address the First Lady of a State (original) (raw)

Is a Girlfriend Addressed as "First Lady"?
I have a question about the title of the Governor of New York's girlfriend. She is Sandra Lee from the food network. What would her title be as his girlfriend? Would she be addressed as the First Lady if they aren't married? Hope you can help. If she isn't called First Lady, how would she be addressed? Thanks so very much.
-- PR in Florida

Dear PR, Spouses, partners, girlfriends (cousins, children, and nieghbors, etc.) of officials do not receive any forms of address based on their spouse's/ partner's/ boyfriend's office. Spouses typically DO get preferential seating as a courtesy to the official ... e.g., when they are with the official -or- the preferential seat the official would get when they are representing the official.
Interestingly the First Lady of the United States is not even on The White House's Precedence List ... she has no official standing herself: She is not an official since, she was not elected.
And while the wife of a President is described as The First Lady ... there is no official form of address. She is addressed as "Mrs. Obama." Yes, you hear newscasters saying "First Lady Michele Obama" ... but that's not a form of address ... its' a newscaster using a shorthand to refer to her in the third person. So Sandra Lee will remain Ms. Sandra Lee.
If you were to address a social envelope to them, here's how it should look:
The Honorable Andrew Cuomo and Ms. Sandra Lee
-- Robert Hickey

Is the Wife of a Lieutenant Governor a "Second Lady"? Is there an official guideline in print somewhere that states we are to address the wife of a Lt. Governor as second lady. I have not found anything that refers to this or gives that title to a LT. Governor’s spouse. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
-- Diane

Dear Diane:
I see the spouses of many officials informally described as a First Lady to define who they are. But it's not a form of address. The wife of a lieutenant governor is most formally Mrs. (Surname), wife of the Lieutenant Governor of (Name of State). There is no title.
The only spouses of government officials I know of having official special forms of address are (1) the spouse of the Queen's representative to a Commonwealth realm ... addressed as His/Her Excellency Mrs. (Husband's full name) in writing and in Your Excellency conversation ... and (2) the spouse of the Queen's representative to a province ... addressed as His/Her Honor (full name) in writing and in Your Honor conversation.
On the website of the "First Lady of California" ... Maria Shriver is referred to her as First Lady Maria Shriver ... but that's not a form of address .... it's descriptive of who she is. If you actually meet her ... call her Ms. Shriver (since she's stated she prefers Shriver than to being addressed as Mrs. Schwarzenegger.)
Even "First Lady of the United States" is not an office. When the wife of The President attends events as The President's representative she is granted his precedence, but she has no official precedence.
I've seen "First Lady" used as an honorific at some African-American churches where they address the spouse of their pastor First Lady (Surname). But using "First Lady" as an honorific is not the tradition at the White House or with other political spouses. Michelle Obama is correctly addressed as Mrs. Obama.
-- Robert Hickey

How Do I Address the Wife of a Governor Who Uses A Different Last Name than her Husband?
Thanks for your informative web site, which I visited via Google. I couldn't find an answer to my question" -- that of how to address a letter to Maria Shriver. I am not sure what the protocol is for a governor's wife, and, in this case, a governor's wife who, I believe, uses her maiden name. I'm stuck!?
--- G. Persis
Dear Ms. Persis:
Maria Shriver presents herself as Maria Shriver: she established herself professionally with that name prior to marriage, and has not chosen as First Lady to be Mrs. Arnold Schwarzenegger. So normally I would address a letter to her as:
Ms. Maria Shriver State Capitol Building Sacramento, CA 95814
However, the state website (http://www.firstlady.ca.gov/contact/ ) says letters should be addressed to:
First Lady Maria Shriver State Capitol Building Sacramento, CA 95814
The site is using First Lady as an honorific like Mayor, Bishop, Captain or Dr. "First Lady" isn't typically or traditionally an honorific for the wives of elected officials. Recent First Ladies in Washington have requested to be introduced as First Lady Laura Bush or First Lady Hilary Clinton ... but these are forms for an introduction .... not as a written form of direct address.
But back to California .... in spite of the fact that First Lady Maria Shriver is unusual, you should address your letter to First Lady Maria Shriver as the website suggests, because it's courteous to follow the preference of the individual.
Write the salutation: Dear Ms. Shriver.
And close with: Sincerely,.
-- Robert Hickey

How to Address the Wife of a Governor?
I am writing a letter to the wife of the governor of my state. Do I address her in the salutation as Dear Mrs. Jindal: or is there another title I should use? I am inviting her to an event at my school, and I want to make sure I use the correct language in the letter. Thanks for your help.
-- Sarah Elizer, Parkview Baptist School, Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Dear Ms. Elizer,
Yes ... she is addressed in a salutation most correctly as Dear Mrs. Jindal:
Look at the form I give for the First Lady of the United States ... you can modify it.
You don't use her first name ... at the Governor's Mansion in Baton Rouge, there is only one Mrs. Jindal.
When she visits your school have everyone address her as Mrs. Jindal.
Then, when you introduce her the assembled students say ....
May I present Supriya Jindel, wife of the Governor of the State of Louisiana.
You can ask if she likes to called the "First Lady of Louisiana" ... if she does (Maria Shriver in California likes First Lady of...) ... then you could say ...
May I present Supriya Jindel, First Lady of the State of Louisiana.
Reason for using "State of Louisiana"? It's a bit more formal than saying just "Louisiana."
-- Robert Hickey