Autonomy: Chapter 3 (original) (raw)

Title: Autonomy (Chapter 3)
Rating: PG
Date written: 10 Sept, 24 Nov, 1 Dec. 2008
Request/Suggestion: none, my own invention
Other information: Story remains cannon with the ATWT show until around July/August when I started writing. It’s set in the future, and it’s a series. A huge thanks to Stephanie for your excellent beta-ing!!
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 |

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It was a Thursday night. Casey had work the next morning. Luke didn’t have class until the afternoon, but he’d promised to take Ethan to school the next morning. He had kid-sitting duty for the weekend, while his mother was out of town.

It was just a normal evening spent at Casey and Aaron’s apartment, until things got ugly. Aaron worked evenings at the LakeView, slowly making his way into Management. He preferred the later shifts in general, which usually meant that Casey and Luke would hang out at the apartment after Casey finished at Java, or on his nights off, until Aaron came in much later to join them.

It had been an innocent evening of poker – using Cheez-Its for bets, since neither of them had any money to lose. Casey had been sure he would beat Luke easily, but as the hour dragged on Casey grew more and more curious about Luke’s growing pile of Cheez-Its. Even when Luke kept stealing from his pile to eat them, his winnings kept growing.

Then Casey figured out that Luke was cheating – using several tricks he had learned from Faith, who had always used such underhanded tactics to get Luke and Noah to confess that “Girls Rule.” When Luke had figured out that Faith was cheating, he had chased her around the house and practically sat on her, forcing her to reveal her secrets.

Looking into the fire in Casey’s eyes, Luke feared he might meet the same fate that Faith had.

Before Casey could do anything, Luke jumped up from the floor, where he was sitting by the low table in front of his winning poker hand. A few Cheez-Its scattered to the floor and Luke paced backward; Casey stood from the couch, wild like a predator.

“You’re a dead man, Snyder!” Casey threatened in mock vehemence.

“Who’re you calling Snyder, Hughes?” Luke taunted, moving backward to keep away as Casey stalked toward him.

“When I get my hands on you…!”

“I’m too fast for you!” Luke jeered, smirking.

He ran and Casey chased; they danced around the sofa and table, each of them grabbing handfuls from the traitorous winning Cheez-Its pile and throwing them across the room at each other, trampling them under foot and turning the carpet orange.

“Cheater!” Casey bellowed accusingly, lunging for Luke.

Casey’s formidable hulking presence blocked escape from the living room, leaving Luke with only one direction to flee – down the hallway. He tried to run fast enough to escape into a room and shut the door to keep Casey out while he was distracted, ranting about Luke’s less-than-honest card tactics.

But Casey was too quick and grabbed the door from Luke, who let go and ran further into the bedroom.

“Trapped,” Casey mock-snarled like an animal.

Luke paced backward, moving around the furniture and toward the far side of the room, until they were standing opposite each other, a bed between them, and Casey advancing.

“It was just for fun! We weren’t playing for money!” Luke protested, just in case Casey wasn’t aware.

“Those are very valuable Cheez-Its you robbed from me!” Casey argued. “And I thought you were honest!”

Luke couldn’t help laughing, even though Casey maintained a straight face.

“I’ll buy you some more,” he promised, trying to edge away as Casey moved around the end of the bed. He was getting closer and Luke didn’t have anywhere to go – not unless he climbed over the bed and made for the door.

“That’s not the point, Snyder!”

Luke made his decision and sprang for the bed, imagining himself as one of those wild, elegant but quick gazelles that he saw on the discovery channel, escaping the tiger’s grasp. Only something felt entirely wrong about equating himself with a gazelle.

Apparently he was no graceful and swift gazelle, anyway, because Casey lunged after him, bounding just two seconds after Luke and catching him around the middle before he could jump off the bed and over to the other side of the room. He saw his escape so clearly before him, the door still standing open, but instead Casey thunked him down onto the mattress and fell immediately to his knees, pinning Luke to the bed, grabbing his hands and holding them hostage over his head so Luke couldn’t move.

“Going somewhere, Snyder?” Casey growled.

“Oh, come on, they were just Cheez-Its!”

Luke distinctly remembered a similar position he had put Faith into, forcing the trade secrets out before he let her go.

“Two boxes of Cheez-Its, you robbed me of!” Casey corrected.

“I told you, I’ll buy you more!” Luke laughed. Before Casey could respond, Luke tried to throw him off, which didn’t prove to be an easy task. Casey definitely weighed more than Luke did, and his muscles were distinctly more…present. Luke began, at that moment, to consider the idea of a more regular work out routine.

He didn’t have time to contemplate the thought, however, as the two of them wrestled for control of the bout. Casey was determined to put Luke in his rightful place as cheater, and swiftly put him in a headlock. Luke growled and shoved at Casey’s arms, finally wriggling free and tugging Casey’s arm behind his back into one of those arm-locks he had seen on the wrestling matches on TV. It didn’t seem to have much effect on Casey, however. He reared back and threw his weight against Luke until they both collapsed on the bed and Casey scrambled to put him in another headlock, all the while harping on the great evil Luke had committed against all Cheez-Its Snack-Kind.

Luke tried to lift Casey off him, but found him too heavy and instead started throwing elbows. Casey caught a sharp elbow to his side and released the headlock only long enough to put Luke’s own move on him, locking his arm behind his back until Luke was convinced his hand was falling asleep.

“Was that a truce I heard?” Casey taunted, tightening the angle on the arm-lock while Luke grunted in protest.

Luke gathered all the power he could and roll them backward until he could tear his arm from Casey’s grasp. He quickly shoved Casey onto his stomach and wrenched an arm behind him again. Casey snorted and pushed back before Luke was able to exert any amount of power over him. Luke landed on his back again, with Casey sitting on him – again.

Definitely not a victorious position.

A throat cleared and both Luke and Casey’s heads snapped towards the door. Aaron stood there, framed in the doorway, still wearing his work clothes and apparently having just come home from work. They hadn’t noticed the sounds of his arrival.

“Did I miss something?” Aaron asked, his eyebrow raised.

“Luke cheated!” Casey answered immediately, as if trying to get Aaron onto his side about the matter.

“Board game, or poker?” Aaron replied.

“Poker!”

Aaron shrugged. “He got it from Faith. She’s a terrible influence.”

Casey scowled and Luke saw it when he turned back to look down at him, Luke still pinned and held at Casey’s mercy.

“Well,” Aaron said.

Luke glanced around Casey at his half brother. His expression was curious, and Luke felt his face warming up.

“I, uh, I think we still have some Cheez-Its left, if you’re hungry,” Luke mumbled toward the door.

Aaron didn’t reply, but Luke could feel his presence lingering in the doorway, as Luke kept his gaze averted.

“You may have won at poker, but I think we know who won this match,” Casey taunted with a smirk, still sitting on Luke and keeping his arms trapped to avoid any thrown elbows.

Luke made a rabid-animal face at him and squirmed to try and get free of Casey’s weight.

“Going some where?” Casey laughed. He moved his feet and adjusted his position so he was sitting more heavily on top of Luke’s stomach.

“Eugh! I can’t breathe!” Luke protested. Out of the corner of his eye he caught movement in the doorway, and thought Aaron had given up on watching their spectacle.

“Liar! If you can speak, you can breath,” Casey jeered.

“Come on!” Luke wriggled again, tugging at his arms and lift himself enough to throw his weight at Casey and hopefully get him off balance.

It didn’t work. Casey raised his eyebrow, maintaining his position way too easily. He stared with a mocking expression, clearly amused.

“Give up, Snyder?” Casey asked, grinning.

Luke kept his mouth shut and glared.

Casey leaned down closer to him, taunting him. “Don’t even think about it.”

What, exactly, Luke wasn’t supposed to think about was unclear at the moment. He wasn’t sure that his mind was functioning properly anyway. He felt Casey shift over him, but he wasn’t getting up. Luke turned his face to the side, glaring at the wall as he contemplated defeat.

Casey moved against him again, and Luke’s temptation to give up increased exponentially. He glanced up at Casey, whose face looked warmer than it had a moment ago.

Wrestling wasn’t a bad work out, Luke supposed. He swallowed hesitantly.

Casey tightened his grip on Luke’s arms and finally Luke tossed his head back in defeat, knowing he wasn’t going anywhere until he gave in.

“Fine! You win!” Luke groaned.

Casey grinned broadly and pushed swiftly off Luke, climbing off the bed and laughing as he ran out of the room.

Luke sat up slowly, making sure he still had feeling in all the parts of his body. He tugged anxiously at his jeans and stood, kicking his foot around for a moment and shaking his leg.

“Come on, Snyders! We’ve got Cheez-Its to eat!” Casey bellowed from the living room.

..:..

Luke twiddled his pen in his hand, pretending to be paying attention to the lecture, like he was supposed to be doing. Only, he was having trouble. His mind kept going elsewhere, uninterested in the new documentation style that the professor was teaching – or rather, reviewing. Luke had seen it before in other classes and was familiar with it, so he supposed it wasn’t a great loss if he didn’t hang on the professor’s every word.

But he was bewildered at his mind’s tendency to return to the evening at Casey’s apartment, two nights before. He frowned at his notes and attempted to re-focus. It didn’t work.

After the underhanded poker game, Aaron had tempted Luke and Casey with a DVD he had bought earlier in the day. Of course, he made them clean up the Cheez-It mess in the living room before they were allowed to start the movie. Aaron was tidier than either Luke or Casey, and didn’t hold back about keeping them in line, just like a good older brother. Casey, of course, won the prize by far for being the most untidy of the three of them.

Luke didn’t really mind. He liked lived-in spaces.

Luke continued running the evening through his head, laughing internally at how many times he had been able to cheat Casey out of Cheez-Its before he had noticed. Faith was a notorious cheater, but Casey hadn’t known that, nor had he any inkling that Luke would follow in her footsteps. Besides, no one believed Luke ‘always-honest’ Snyder would cheat in a poker game. If he ever teamed up with Faith, he was pretty sure they would be an unstoppable duo.

Luke yawned, then, trying to hide it so he wouldn’t offend the professor if he happened to be looking his way. Luke was glad he had Casey for such a good friend. He was turning out to be the most reliable, loyal friend Luke had ever had, and he hadn’t expected that. He had always known that Casey was a good guy, but he had thought Casey would be good for a laugh, good entertainment, good company. He had never thought to consider him as a truly devoted friend. But he was.

In fact, maybe he was more than that. He lived with Luke’s brother, and they all spent a lot of time together. Casey seemed to accept Luke, regardless of whatever mood he was in, or whatever quirks he had. Casey had no problem being honest with him, and Luke held no such reservations either. They were comfortable around each other, even when they were grungy on the weekends, unshowered and smelling like boys. And Casey was proving himself to be no longer squeamish about physical contact with Luke, despite having once protested it as his fake-boyfriend.

Things were different now. Luke supposed Casey was more like family. Like Aaron. Like a brother. Maybe Luke would be lucky enough to be stuck with Casey for life, just like one of his family members. It wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Then he started to wonder if Casey’s comfort with Luke also came from thinking of him like a brother. Luke smiled, feeling warm from the thought.

A second later, the warmth dissipated in a strange burst of cold, but Luke wasn’t able to figure out why because he was immediately startled by the people around him who were standing from their seats and putting books into bags. Class was over and he had missed it. He shook the clouds of thought from his head and rose to his feet, gathering his notebook and pens.

It really wouldn’t do to let himself drift off in the middle of class.

At home, Luke unloaded his books and notes from his bag, and was immediately bombarded by a clan of Snyders.

“Please say you’ll come out with us!” Natalie begged.

“Out where?” Luke asked, setting his bag aside in his room while two of his three younger siblings plopped themselves onto his bed and the third stood in the bedroom doorway.

“Faith’s taking us to Java,” Ethan said from the bed, where he sat next to Natalie.

“Java? I’m always studying there.” Luke made a face.

“Just because you’re always there doesn’t mean we’re always there,” Faith replied.

“But they just have coffee. Ethan doesn’t even like coffee,” Luke responded, chuckling.

“No, but they have this really great hot chocolate with sprinkles and whipped cream. And they have peppermint hot cocoa,” Natalie supplied.

“Hot chocolate!” Ethan echoed, his eyes wide with desire.

“What is this, Snyder Siblings Quality Time?” Luke asked, crossing his arms and peering curiously at his sisters and brother.

“No,” Faith replied. “It’s called we’re inviting you to hang out with us, but if we’re not cool enough-”

“No, no, no, no!” Luke interrupted. “No guilt trip needed. Let’s go already.”

Natalie and Ethan cheered while Faith smirked at him before leaving the room. Luke had the sneaking suspicion that he had just been played.

The suspicion was confirmed when he was stuck paying the bill for all four of their drinks.

“So this is why you wanted me to come with you,” Luke said, scowling at his sisters. Both of them blinked innocently at him.

Meanwhile, Casey laughed.

“Serves you right for cheating!” Casey taunted as he began to make the drinks they had ordered.

The coffee shop was quiet that afternoon, and Luke and his three siblings stood together by the cash register waiting for their order.

“I think I already learned my lesson about that,” Luke replied grumpily. He couldn’t easily forget being sat on and held prisoner by Casey until forced to admit defeat.

“Luke cheated?” Natalie asked curiously.

Faith glanced at Luke and they exchanged knowing looks.

“He’s the worst cheater I’ve ever met,” Casey confessed with mock seriousness.

“Clearly you’ve never met Faith,” Luke replied dryly.

Faith acted offended and feigned innocence.

“How could you accuse me of such a thing!”

“Everyone knows you cheat,” Natalie said matter-of-factly.

Faith shoved her sister.

“Where’s my chocolate?” Ethan asked.

“It’s coming, buddy,” Luke replied, running a hand through his hair to try and appease him.

Once they had their drinks, the four of them found a table near the couches in the back and the girls quickly snatched the best seats. They talked about life and friends, and laughed at Ethan when he got whip cream all over his face.

Luke listened with amusement, occasionally letting his eyes wander to the front of the shop where Casey stood at his cash register. Luke caught his gaze a few times, surprised to find his friend’s attention on them.

“I want more sprinkles!” Ethan said, looking up from his cup with a pleading face. Faith laughed at him.

“Well, maybe if you’re really nice and sweet, Casey will give you some more,” Luke suggested to his brother. Luke looked up to cue the smaller boy to do the same, and they both saw Casey looking back, his ears perked up as if he had caught the mention of his name.

“Faith, will you come with me?” Ethan asked, standing from his seat and taking his half-empty cup in both his hands.

“No, get bubba to do it,” Faith said, making a face.

“Please, I want you!” Ethan insisted, poking out his lower lip and pouting.

“Always me,” Faith moaned half-heartedly, but she went with Ethan anyway, escorting him to the cash register where Casey stood, ready to intercept them. He listened to the request and gazed over their heads at Luke, who grinned and shrugged.

“Did I tell you Mom caught me and Chris making out in the living room when we were supposed to be doing our homework?” Natalie asked as she held her coffee cup in one hand and toyed with its straw, swishing the liquid around inside. She paused and took a drink, gazing up at Luke and waiting for his response.

“No, you didn’t. Did she freak out?”

“Not so much. But she wasn’t thrilled either. And I got, like, the sixth sex talk of my life that evening.”

Luke sniggered. “At least you haven’t had the gay-sex version.”

“Ew, really?” Natalie scrunched her face up in disgust. “Dad, or Mom?”

“Dad,” Luke said, amused as his sister’s eye grew wide.

“That would be so awkward with Mom. I mean, it’s awkward enough for me, though it wears off after the third time.” Natalie laughed and Luke echoed it. “What did Dad say?”

Luke tilted his head to the side, curious about what his sister knew concerning gay sex.

“It was pretty standard for guys, to be honest. Safety, protection, diseases, being careful with your heart, sex being something special, all that.”

“Do you think if I asked him, Dad would give me the gay sex talk?” Natalie asked, giggling at the end and using her foot to shove at Luke’s calf, both of them splitting up into gales of laughter.

“Can I be there to see his face, when you do?” Luke said between laughs.

“Seriously, Dad must have researched,” Natalie replied, attempting to keep a straight face.

“Oh, god. Dad probably watched gay porn!” Luke blanched and his sister started giggling so hard that she had to set her cup down on the table before doubling over with fits, barely able to breath.

“That’s so… I…I may never be the same again,” Luke continued, horrified.

Natalie’s laughter had attracted the attention of Casey, Faith, and Ethan, but they appeared to be having a conversation of their own, and ignored Luke’s devastation and his sister’s mirth. When she had finally calmed down, she began pushing her foot rhythmically against Luke’s leg, her messy ponytail swaying behind her with the rippled momentum.

“So, did Dad talk to you about, like, diseases and AIDS and stuff?” Natalie asked, growing a little more serious.

“Yeah.” Luke shrugged. “Not a lot, but we kinda talked about it.”

“Do you think it scares ‘em? Do you ever think about it?” Natalie asked.

Luke shifted in his chair. He’d never exactly contemplated discussing sex and sexually transmitted diseases with his sisters, and while he and Faith avoided such topics, Natalie seemed eager to be completely open and frank about everything.

“I don’t know. I guess I don’t think about it too much. I’m always careful.” Luke shrugged, stuck in thought for a moment.

Natalie wrinkled her nose. “I’m not sure if I want to think about that or not.” Her eyes caught Luke’s and she smiled. “So, Dad told you about using a condom every time?”

“Yeah,” Luke nodded. “Why, what does Mom say?”

He had never really wondered what his Mom said about sex or what she told the girls. Of course she’d mentioned it in awkward, passing comments about protection, but Dad had dealt with the full-out sex talk, as far as Luke was concerned. And he had to give Holden some serious credit. He didn’t know how fathers of other gay sons handled things, but Holden had known more about what he was talking about than Luke had expected. He knew Holden must have done some researching.

The thought made his love for his father swell.

“Mom probably says similar things, only she talks about birth control and pregnancy, too, and about how ‘no means no,’ and that we shouldn’t let some horny teenage boy pressure us into something we’re not comfortable with.”

“Ha, yeah, no pregnancy talk for me.” Luke grinned, pushing his sister’s foot off of his knee. She made a face at him and put her foot back.

“Luke?” she asked, her tone one that Luke recognized. Some question or query was coming that was born of thoughtful curiosity. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but tried to steel himself for it.

“Yeah?”

“How do you know when you’re in love?”

Luke’s eyes grew wider as he calculated the question. He leaned back, stretching his hands behind his head and delaying his response as he thought about it.

“Is there a reason you’re hung up on sex and love today?” Luke asked, peering at his sister.

“Besides the fact that I’m a teenager?” She gave him a pointed look.

“Are you in love with someone?”

“Are you avoiding the question?” She pushed on his leg with her foot again.

“It’s not an easy one, Nat. It’s different for everyone. Sometimes it’s something really stupid, like when you go out to buy groceries and find ten different things for him, but not a single thing for your fridge. But that can be misleading. Usually you don’t notice it, and then, all of a sudden, he’s everywhere.”

Luke frowned, realizing how difficult it was to make his thoughts sensible.

“I don’t know. That can often be confused for something less, too.”

He paused, and Natalie patiently waited for him to continue.

“One good indicator can be when you’ll consider giving him up, to keep his happiness instead of your own. I mean, no one wants to choose that, and it’s a crappy situation to be in. But if you’d sooner carry the pain yourself and save it from him, if you’d deny yourself for his happiness, if you think of him first and put him first, well… It might be love.

“It makes you forget about all the rules, and all you can think about is him and what you feel is right. You stop caring what everyone else thinks. You just know. Know it in your gut, and in your heart. And you’re willing, really willing, to do whatever it takes to be with him… I don’t know, it’s hard to say something general because I think each situation is specific. What looks like love for one couple is only lust or infatuation for another.”

“Hm,” Natalie responded, her foot pushing a steady rhythm on Luke’s knee. She was his most affectionate sibling, and if she was anywhere near him, she usually had a hand or foot or shoulder against him. He liked her affection, but he was also glad that her shoes were clean today. Though he wouldn’t put it past her to kick her shoes off if they weren’t, regardless of how unsanitary some would consider it in a coffee shop.

“In love yet?” Luke asked, leaning forward on the table.

“Who’s in love?” Faith asked as she and Ethan sat back down at the table.

“Look! Casey gave me lots of sprinkles!” Ethan beamed, showing his cup to Luke. There was a ridiculous amount of chocolate sprinkles in the liquid in the bottom.

“And he said you and Daddy always ask for extra sprinkles,” Ethan continued.

“I do not!” Luke denied.

“Not what Casey said!” Faith sang. “He told us your favorite part is the sprinkles.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Dad’s too, apparently.”

“Like father like sons!” Faith teased.

“All right, haven’t you kids had enough coffee, then? Let’s get home before Ethan’s sugar high hits,” Luke suggested.

“Kids? What are you, an old man?” Faith retorted.

“In gay years he is!” Natalie giggled.

Luke made to thump her on the back of the head but Natalie jumped out of the way as she stood from her seat. The group of Snyders set their chairs back in order and headed for the front door, everyone waving to Casey on the way out. Luke brought up the rear of the train of siblings and paused at the register while the others went outside to the car.

“Thanks for blabbing about my secret chocolate sprinkles,” Luke scowled playfully, standing in front of the cash register and the fresh muffin display case.

Casey grinned from the other side and wiped down the counter between them.

“Aw, there, there. I didn’t tell any of your other secrets.”

“I do have so many,” Luke bragged airily.

Casey chuckled in amusement before responding.

“All the more for me to uncover and tell, my dear,” Casey said, sounding very much like the wolf-grandma in Little Red Riding Hood.

“You’ll never find all my secrets!” Luke declared like a hero from some other fairytale, thrusting his car keys into the air as a sign of his vow.

“I’ll not rest till I have!” Casey promised, puffing his chest out.

Luke rolled his eyes, laughing, and Casey chuckled too.

“Anyway…” Luke began, glancing at the door. “I guess I better go before they come back in and drag me out. I’ll be glad for Mom to get home tomorrow night, though…”

“I bet.” Casey nodded in understanding, wiping down a part of the counter that he had cleaned two times already.

“Maybe I’ll call you tonight? The girls might pull out some games to play, and they could always use another victim.”

“Not if you and Faith are cheating again.” Casey shook his head with a wry smile.

“Hey!” Luke responded, pretending to be offended.

“Well, it’s true, Snyder.” Casey laughed.

“I’ll call you later.” Luke nodded to him. “See you!”

But he didn’t see Casey later. He never answered his phone when Luke called, and much later in the night he sent a text saying he had been busy and had made other plans.

Luke couldn’t help wondering what he had been up to.

Next: Chapter 4