Rick's Journal (original) (raw)

| | Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004 5:14 pm - Tuesdays gone with the wind Tue. Nov. 2nd, 2004. Went and voted I hope the rest of the people were as sure of holding on to at least one freedom. Good stuff all around has been happening. I haven't updated in forever because I haven't had internet in forever, but that's what the library is for right. Well I hope everyone is good I have to give some people a call since I haven't hung out with old friends in forever. P.s. I lost my phone again so if it takes me a while to find numbers don't be upset. If you notice that please leave me your number again so we can chat. Well peace. Hopefully we'll have a band update for a show soon also.current mood: Rebellious (5 comments | comment on this) Wednesday, May 5th, 2004 9:41 pm - mine 1. Who are you?2. Are we friends?3. When and how did we meet?4. How have I affected you?5. What do you think of me?6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?7. How long do you think we will be friends?8. Do you love me?9. Do you have a crush on me?10. Would you kiss me?11. Would you hug me?12. Physically, what stands out?13. Emotionally, what stands out?14. Do you wish I was cooler?15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.17. Am I loveable?18. How long have you known me?19. Describe me in one word.20. What was your first impression?21. Do you still think that way about me now?22. What do you think my weakness is?23. Do you think I'll get married?24. What makes me happy?25. What makes me sad?26. What reminds you of me?27. If you could give me anything what would it be?29. How well do you know me?29. When's the last time you saw me?30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?31. Do you think I could kill someone?32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you? (8 comments | comment on this) Tuesday, December 16th, 2003 1:21 am - I did some good reading and talking today First off a line from a letter. "Don't mistake kindness for weakness. I am not a weak person. But I will do all I can for you." This letter wasn't to me, but it made a good point. I may take stuff and not strike back. Not because I'm afraid, but because I want to do what's right. Next, I care, I try, and I'm sorry. This is not a riddle. It's mixed words from a mixed up mind.Thank you for everything I have. I may have problems with the things that I hold. But, I also have friends and excellent people to help me. I just needed to get that out. I am greatful for the people who have listened and talked. I don't know if I tell them that. The little things mean so much to me and they affect me the most.I try my best to be honest and helpful without being a hypocrite. I hope I don't slip up. You help me not to. That goes for you who read this and try. I can not say thank you enough for the hope and peace you bring me. THANK YOU!current mood: content (3 comments | comment on this) Wednesday, November 12th, 2003 6:37 am - Here's an entry for someone who asked for one. Hmm. So what's wrong? Well here's what I've come up with lately. I haven't said anything because I had hoped I was wrong. You're right. You do try and talk to me, you do call me, and you do leave comments. But, we talk because we're the only one's in the room, you call because no one else is answering, and you leave comments because you know that was just something we have done. When did we last hang out for real? I remember you were stuck at your mom's with no one to call. So you called Rick the guy who would "lay down in front of a train for you". Of course I'd save you from there I'm a sucker. The last time you called? Yesterday, when he was in the shower and couldn't answer. That's why I get the message of I was just seeing what your up to. If you did have someone else to talk to you wouldn't worry about it. Maybe I went about it the wrong way and should have said something. Alright I'm this horrible person. But, obviously shit happens. This hurts. So I don't know which is worse. (2 comments | comment on this) Monday, September 29th, 2003 4:53 am - Well I kinda slept I think I slept the majority of the night. Oh well it doesn't matter as long as I can make it through work. Some people have no idea how much a decision can affect others. A simple decision and you could help make or break someone's entire world. It's quite simple really. Because we all see what we want. There's always a different side of the story. There's always someone who picks out details of a situation and when you look at someone else's facts. You realize the story doesn't look the same at all. That messes with me. So that didn't last long.current mood: uncomfortable (3 comments | comment on this) Wednesday, September 17th, 2003 5:50 pm - Today is to early to be laid down for eternity Rest in Peace, Steve. I wish you could have seen all these friends before you made your last decision.current mood: numb (3 comments | comment on this) Sunday, September 7th, 2003 9:52 pm - yep Ok I'm done for the night. I have to go for work so I may update in a couple days. Fun days behind more to come. Or something. Whatever. Music from AIM by me and Erin.Cytherean22: it's amazing how throught all the bad things we can still hold on to one good thingDeadFromLight: a memoryCytherean22: we trick ourselves into thinking that it will lastCytherean22: yeahCytherean22: we make up people who do not exist in the people we knowDeadFromLight: and hope they can become thatCytherean22: and we fight reality sooo fucking hardDeadFromLight: but it doesn't changeCytherean22: but finally reality kicks the shit out of usDeadFromLight: until we can raise ourselvesCytherean22: yeahDeadFromLight: I think we just wrote a songGoodnight.current mood: crazy (1 comment | comment on this) 3:05 am - This is out there for everyone to see "I am no one. I am nothing." And it's sad, but true. I had good conversations today(and a good practice that kicked ass). So this may get long. I have to thank my friends. Without them I would have been dead a long time ago. I realize I have helped a lot of people. I've heard that from different people. My biggest problem is I hated me. Today I learned I have to change. I can help people by giving them my thoughts and my feelings. But I can't change them. Because you just can't change shit. All you can do is change and adapt yourself. So I must. Not for the worse I try to get better. I am not sorry. I do try my hardest.current mood: awake (1 comment | comment on this) Tuesday, August 19th, 2003 10:22 pm - sick shit I can't fucking think straight. I don't know what to do about anything yet I have to get it done right now. I can just hope that things can be made simple again soon. May the greater power help me.current mood: infuriated (2 comments | comment on this) Saturday, July 26th, 2003 11:36 am - That's rigt Ladies and Gentlemen I'm back. It took a while but I'm here. Not dead yet. The place is coming along sweet and now I have LJ back so I'm good. Not much has happened lately. A lot of work and only a little time to hang out with people. I hope to see everyone. I haven't seen quite a few people in awhile. So comment and I'll tap that ass, oh I mean we'll get together sometime. LOL my bad.current mood: relieved (4 comments | comment on this) Monday, June 16th, 2003 2:04 am - ... I'm done with youand all the bullshit you put me throughI'm sick and dyinglife no longer offering simple timesthat pulled me out from the hard onesBut I don't mind'cause for the time I am somethingto those who likeeverything I amI won't go on for youJust myself and my own prideLive the lifethat only I can account forI'm stronger than youand those who think they'll bring me downNoone can hurt me like I doThere's no pain no greater than my self afflicted woundsSo I don't mindI'm through with youcurrent mood: drunk (2 comments | comment on this) Wednesday, May 7th, 2003 11:15 pm - Here are "The Majority rules" I knew you couldn't wait to see them so here you go. I wrote them so I can remember what not to do.1. The majority of people are assholes2. The majority will not stand for what's right as much as they'll stand for what's pushed.3. The majority think they are never at fault.4. The majority will lie, cheat, and steal from enemies, friends, and family alike.5. The majority will direct hatred, insecurities, and anger at others who don't deserve it.I'm sure I'll come up with more but for now this is it. My own set of rules just so I don't turn out to be an asshole when I grow up. Not that I'll ever grow up. This is what I see from the world and I don't like it. Don't worry not the whole world, just the majority of it.current mood: gloomy (comment on this) Thursday, February 27th, 2003 10:13 pm - Am I always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Monday, February 17th, 2003 10:16 pm - Well damn it's official I knew I fucked things up in that accident. But now it's official that there is no way to fix the car. Damn. I don't know for sure what I'm going to do about that yet. I tell you it's that whole damn valentines day that did it to me. That no good waste of a day. Fudge(I'm trying to cut back on the swearing). lol. Well on a lighter note I've been practicing and I can't wait to get back together with the guys. Well I'm sure I'll see everyone around hopefully sooner rather than later. Hope all is well.current mood: confused (comment on this) Thursday, February 13th, 2003 5:44 pm - I do care, but I do not matter I need practice so that's what I'm aboot to do. Yeah. Guitar and then some drawings. I think that should keep me occupied. I'll be back later. P.s. yeah for this whole valentines crap. Bah Humbugcurrent mood: nostalgic (1 comment | comment on this) Tuesday, January 14th, 2003 9:26 pm - Damn BoySetsFire and Killswitch Engage. I couldn't have planned a better show to leave town for. So yeah that's all for now I just can't fucking wait.current mood: amused (comment on this) Monday, January 13th, 2003 6:29 pm - I have BSF tickets. So it looks like I'm gonna have a road trip. Damn straight, I can't wait to do that. That's all for now I was just excited to get out of this place for awhile. I think I deserve it.Today's lyrics, "Never walked so tall until that moment when fate and circumstance collide when all it takes is a step that you never saw and burdens fall away. How do we find a little piece of heaven in our time before we find acceptance. When no one understands at this point that a handful of redemptions all we need."current mood: excited (1 comment | comment on this) Sunday, January 12th, 2003 9:44 pm - Practice kicked ass New song really rocks. I look forward to the next one. Complete and recorded. I hope was good for all. I have to get the rest of my amp payed off so I can start practicing with my own nice amp finally. Soon I hope. Of course I'm hoping I can go to the BSF concert this month. It's being taped so I'll probably spend a lot of money and take a road trip to Pennsylvania. Lucky for me it's on a weekend. Any way I'm off till next time.current mood: hopeful (comment on this) Thursday, January 9th, 2003 10:35 pm - Once I open my eyes to the whole picture Yeah. Why do I blind myself from the obvious. Derp, oh well. I finally got to jam with the guys today so that was cool as hell. It was good to try some of the old stuff. I can't wait til we jam next time the whole set up will be loud as fuck. The best way to play.Today's lyrics,Am I Breaking DownCan I break awayPush me away, make me fall,Just to see, another side of me,Push me away, you can see,what I see, the other side of me.So now I'm done for the day.current mood: envious (comment on this) Wednesday, January 8th, 2003 5:27 pm - Almost caught me off guard "Well fuck them, and fuck her, and fuck him, and fuck you, for not having the strength in your heart to pull through. I've had doubts, I have failed, I've fucked up, I've had plans, doesn't mean I should take my life with my own hands." This song really helps me out when there's no one around. I've got to much planned and it will work.current mood: predatory (comment on this) | | 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