"dogs fucked the pope, no fault of mine" (original) (raw)

Date:	2019-07-19 02:01
Subject:	What happened?
Event type:	Sticky
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy

It is 2019.
When did this happen.

I remember updating my LJ account regularly from a shitty old PC at my mother’s desk.
I’m 35 years old... not 15 years young.
If only I could meet up with everyone at a bar for a beer to say “how the fuck are you”?
But I can’t. Because I’m dead.

Not in the sense of lacking life, but just inside. I have no faith left in this universe, this earth, this existence.
It is 1:51 am & im jobless. At 35.
I have no career. My car is one I borrow from my girlfriend, who is incredibly successful but for some reason wants me around? I’m not good company, so why?
Am I just a good shag from time to time? My cooking is fairly decent. Perhaps that helps.

I shouldn’t be writing this, but I am.
I am sober, and awake. This isn’t some ambien fueled rant like my ‘good ol’ days. And I don’t even really drink.
I smoked a little weed earlier, but maybe 1/5 gram? Enough to get a few giggles in, nothing else.

Today was overtly boring. I watched some dogs, that’s what I do now, care for people’s dogs... and ate fast food for dinner.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I put up a good exterior fight, like I’m doing well. But I’m not.

I heard from my family, through a channel, that everyone thinks I’m a fuck up. My mom thinks I’m a fuck up without any good job prospects and no savings or anything.
I took my anti depressants earlier today, I’ve been trying to make that a thing I do every day, but some days I forget... or I go like 36 hours between caps.
I looked at my Senior yearbook tonight... people wrote such nice things in the margins. Was I ever actually a good person, or were those just falsehoods then too?

I’m going to do this again. Soon. If you read this, tell me. I want someone who reads this to text me. 253.threezero4.7one6one

Just say ‘hi’, I need a hello right now.

So my girlfriend just broke up with me.
I can’t gripe about it on any social media anyone actually follows, because y’know - it just happened and we have to tell the kids first.
But yah — single again. At 35. And because we own a house together that will need massive repairs before selling it, it also means that we’re roommates now. Roommates in a situation I don’t agree with.
Fan-fucking-tasting.

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I just got paid on Friday.. 11/01 -- I get paid bi-weekly, so I won't get paid again until 11/15.
Today, 11/03, I have spent almost 7/10ths of my previous paycheck on bills.
I have two more bills to pay that equal out to more than what I have left, and that doesn't include any gas, food, etc. that is required for existing.

I seriously don't know what to do anymore.
How are we supposed to endure this? How the fuck is this the actual definition of life?
This isn't life. This is existing as a piece of shit in an unforgiving universe of greed and hatred. Fuck this.

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35th year on the planet earth, and what could arguably be the worst Halloween — which happens to be my favorite holiday — I’ve been alive for.
I got stuck in traffic on my way to work, like “someone stole a car causing multiple lanes to be shut down” stuck in traffic. I attempted to keep my spirits up during this by listening to the Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack & various other Halloween classics like Thriller, Ghostbusters, et al. but there’s just not a lot you can do to not grind your teeth when going 4 mph in the ‘fast’ lane on I-5

Work was monotony, through and through - typical. And then another hour 1/2 of traffic on my way home after dropping another 37 dollars into my gas tank.
I thought maybe the evening would make up for it, but really it was an equally boring shit show. We had literally three groups of Trick or Treaters come to the house, 2 kids, 3 kids, 2 kids within the span of an hour or so — abysmal since it was cold but good weather...
Maybe no one actually cares about Halloween anymore?
Maybe no one cares about anything and this is all just an exercise in futility. All of it.

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I've decided that I'm going to kill myself.

Not today, not tomorrow, not soon.
But in general.

Life is not worth living. There are glimmers of fun, greatness, joy, hope -- but overall it's a cluster fuck of sadness and wasted moments.

I started smoking marijuana fairly regularly to help with my depression, and it's actually helped quite a bit. I felt like I was alive, like colors were bright and vibrant, not the normal dark and grays that I am used to seeing in every location and every corner of my vision. It's almost like the vibrancy of living was hidden behind the inescapable frustration of, well, life.

But my girlfriend is staunchly anti-drug because of her upbringing. She has adamantly stated that it is not allowed in and around the house. Which basically means now I've quit again, and that makes me sad. Because it really felt like it was helping me... I felt more balanced, more relaxed, less aggressive and considerably less irritable.
Considering she will never read this, it doesn't really matter, but it fucking pisses me off to no end that she is making a decision about what I am and am not allowed to do based off her own ignorance and biases. She will not consider even trying it to understand how it works, she doesn't care that my argument is that it helps my mood -- she just wants it gone. Which is fucking fantastic considering the small investment I made into it to get started... Oh well, just another part of my life that I'm not "allowed" to participate in because I follow everyone else's rules but never do anything about it. It's easier to just exist and be non-combative I guess.

I contacted child services/child support today, to see about the status of my case/support that I have not been receiving for sometime now. The woman assured me they are looking into it, but had no solid leads.
My ex-wife Auna has been off-grid for quite some time it seems and just isn't doing anything in the 'normal' world, no job searches, no applications for work, housing, etc.
They don't even have a phone number listed to reach out to her at.
She owes over six thousands dollars in back child support, and that number grows every month.
I haven't received a check from them since 2017... just another cherry on top of my fucking loser life, which brings me to my initial point.

I think that I'm going to aim for maybe 50? If I make it to 50 years old, thats in 15 years.. Rebecka will be 30 years old, she wont need me for anything else, and the child support that should be paid out by the will likely never be paid.
I have no savings, no nest egg saved up for later in life. I don't have a retirement plan, or life insurance.
I think 50 is a good time to jump the mortal coil.
I wonder if I can do anything worthwhile with my final 15 years?

If the first 35 are any indicator... probably not.
In fact, I'm going to wager that if I'm still alive in 15 years I'll be an even bigger loser than I am now.
Perfect reason to cut the cord.

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Holy fuck.
I am at Peter Guyers 36th birthday party today. Like treeface Peter.
We’re like full blown adults at a house party.
He made a joke about how he’s still going to be kicking as much ass now as he will be when he turns 72.
I wish I could feel that confident about anything in my life.

Adam Shelton, Ryan Morgan, Chris Freiboth, Chance Sosa, Hava Turksy, and a bunch of folks I don’t know are here.
It feels like this is naturally where I should have ended up at.
Except I’m sitting here in the porch alone reading some article & then thinking about writing this. Why am I writing this?
It’s so weird to be here and instead of continuing to hang out, I’m reading an article on the net?!!
What is wrong with me...

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Met with my attorney again today.. and things are well underway. I have to go to the Regional Justice Center in Kent next week (after Memorial Day weekend) and get some Certified Documents that state I am not the father of Dryden (Auna's son). The case was settled in that respect, but neither Auna or Matt (Dryden's dad) were ever put on the birth certificate, and that is totally bizarre, right? Anywho, that is one last major step to getting my temporary orders filed, and getting Auna served with that information. I actually kind of don't care if she reads this.. although it would be very strange for her to still be reading my LiveJournal after this long...

Working at Gateway to India again is totally weird. Washing to sinks tonight after we were closed and the shift was coming to a close.. it was like Deja Vu, but six hundred times over... and over again! I don't know why, but it just seems to repetitious.. and pointless even. Those sinks are a metaphor for so many things in our lives. They are cyclical, they get cleaned every night after we close up shop, and then they get filled with all kinds of filth and mess the next day, only to be used and then cleaned one more time. It's really bizarre.

Anyway, on with the good stuff.
My attorney had advised me to "write my story", and he mentioned that alot of people have an easier time telling it in story format, than just recalling events. So I did just that. I wrote a nearly 13 page story that tells the story of Auna and I, and the betrayal, and the hurt, and the pain, and the suffering, and yes, even the good times.

Gather around kiddies, it's sharing time!

"I met Auna in about February/March of 2003, I was attending Tacoma Community College at the time as well as working full time at Gateway to India. I still lived at home as I was trying to support my mother with some bills and part of the mortgage on the house i'd grown up in.
A friend of mine, Lucas Dumont, who I had known through middle school was staying with us after some fallout with his mother had occurred. He didn't work, and spend alot of time just lazing about with no agenda.
While out working I ultimately found out that Luke had been using my computer to get into chat and instant messaging programs with my user name/account. Whether he was pretending to be me, or just using them is not known, but what he did do was meet and chat with random 18-20+ women who were looking for friendship/compatibility/random sexual encounters.
Auna was one of those people he met. I'm not certain how they met, or how long they chatted for before he invited her to Washington to visit. She was from Lewiston, ID and lived with a foster mother, Becky Harris [now Goodman].
Luke did not have a car, or much money as he did not have a job but was attempting to get involved with the military. I offered to drive him to Sea-Tac one night after work so he could meet "a friend". I was not completely privy to the story of their meeting at this time, but didn't have anything else to do that evening and agreed.
After picking this young lady up, it became clear that there were very few reasons for her to be here. She and Luke had obviously planned some kind of sexual rendezvous and this was the crux of that plan.
A little more about Luke Dumont here, he was never the most gracious person and a little bit more than a womanizer. We are no longer friends, so I feel it is in my best interest to point this out. I blame him for alot of what has happened over the years following these situations.
Back to it, after a short drive back from Sea-Tac, and a movie at my home, it became clear that Auna was not picking up on what Luke was putting out. As for myself, I am nice to everyone - to a flaw (or at least I was, at the time -- my demeanor has changed significantly since these days so long ago). Auna quickly latched onto me instead of Luke and I didnt fight very hard to keep her away. As the evening progressed it became clear she was interested in one major thing - sex. As an 18 year old with slightly more stress than I needed I was far from unwilling to engage in sex with a woman who was coming on to me (for once!) I was not inexperienced, but hadnt ever moved this quickly before, and there was a little bit of flying by the seat of my pants involved."

I know this is a terrible time to stop writing, but i've really got to get to bed as I work early tomorrow morning and I must not be exhausted. I will continue this tale soon... as in maybe tomorrow...
But 'till then -- STAY GROOVY INTERNET!

Ken M.

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So, I've actually made a few major steps in my life recently and am currently underway filing divorce papers regarding my marital status with Auna. Rebecka is 6 1/2 years old, and currently a few weeks from finishing up Kindergarten. And i've met and am dating an absolutely fabulous and amazing woman named Victoria. I have also moved into a house in University Place, in a pretty sweet set-up. 2010 has been interesting for sure, and it feels like i've turned some things around that always seemed damn near impossible.

Debt is still a very real issue, as Auna continues to mess with my credit rating and savings despite not being together for over 4 years this month. I'm managing, and am working at Gateway to India again, as well as at The Lobster Shop. I never thought i'd be a two job parent, but here I am - as I live and breath it.
It was difficult at first, and I still lapse into days where I feel too exhausted for it and just want to spend the evening with Rebecka instead of going to work. I miss the days where we could come home from work/school/Montessori and enjoy a quiet evening at home with a movie, or at the park. But those days will come back to us soon. And that is what keeps me going for sure.

I have a serious amount of written 'story' to tell regarding meeting Auna and I really want to tell it on here. I have plans to, as I feel that documenting alot of these facts is crucial down the line.
I spent a good hour earlier this evening reading about my trials and tribulations in the year of 2003. It all seems so long ago, yet so near in some examples - as if it only happened yesterday. It's a bizarre mix of deja-vu and mixed memories.
It's been a task and a half to "tell my story" (as my attorney put it) because I have to rack my brain to recall certain events and lay them out chronologically. I'm also trying my best not to bash her considerably, but I have so much rage and anger built up that cannot be satiated simply by venting.
My attorney claims that I should not cling to hopes of getting my "pound of flesh", because judges do not dole it out. You have to accept that you will not get it, and move on. It's weird how divorce is this proxy battle, or war of attrition. You go in asking for very modest concessions on the part of the other party, and if they dont like what you want, they can respond in kind, until both parties are asking the world of each other and neither is getting anywhere. I'm party wondering just how long this can be drawn out for... it seems like it's been forever and i'm only going to be having my third meeting in about 8 hours.

Anywho, i'm going to crash out, as i'm back up at 7 to get cleaned up for meeting/PoS training/work at Gateway. T-minus 5 hours 15 minutes until i'm back in dad mode with breakfast, and lunches and driving too and fro...

'Til next time,
Ken --- AWAY!!!

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So it's been awhile... a long while... but I dont have anything new for you... not really anyway. What I do have is my love for a fairly new website, that Derick told me about tonight. Called Omegle, it's pretty much a one on one chatroom, with infinite possibilities.
Derick told me that all he gets are furries and scataholics, but I seemed to get a fairly intelligent person, at least for my first try. We did slip into some 4chan talk at the end, but all in all, it was quite engaging. And now I want to post it. So here you go, unedited, and uncut. Enjoy! (It's under a cut, because it is LONG!)( Yah, click it... and ENJOYCollapse )

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Life continues to elude me I think. I always feel like I get so close to grabbing at everything I want, like a small child chasing after butterflies with a net. It/they always end up making their grand escape, whether im aware of it or not.
It's something i've gotten entirely used to, and really have come to expect it.

I feel like I am however making some manner of slight progress in making this year better than some of the more recent ones. I feel like I have very well defined goals that need to be accomplished. Goals like getting divored finally, buying a home of my own, becoming even more adult than I have had to force myself to be in the last 6 years.

March is an interesting month for me. It makes me think back to meeting Auna. Six whole years ago we met, and ended up creating something that was amazing, although neither of us knew it at the time.

I was only ankle deep in TCC at this time six years ago, and it was all about to come crashing down.
I can honestly say that I dont remember alot of what transpired during the weeks following finding out about Rebecka. I remember feeling a complete lack of care or regard for my academic future, and that is why I ultimately flunked out.
I remember specific arguments Auna and I had regarding out future, and the fact that neither of us had known each other long enough to be able to read each other properly definatly amounted to a seriously high number of fights and unnessasary outburts.

Now I flash forward to when Auna left, and all the insanity that ensued over that. Her utter lack of care or regard for her own child. Sometimes i'm amazed at my ability to adapt to each situation and fake my way through it best as I can.
I am like a sly chameleon sometimes. And it amazes even myself...

And now it's off to work for me.
Have a good one internet world...

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So I saw Guttermouth live tonight at Hell's Kitchen on 6th Ave. they played with 3 other bands, but I didnt watch them. I just got really really drunk.

Then I pushed people around at the actual Gutermouth Show. It was amazing.
I got a water bottle from the band after the show, and told Mark that they better come back and they could shove popsicles in my ass at the show if they did.

I drank alot tonight and this is an usual experiance for me... I feel good about it and bad at the same time.

Adam Shelton told me tonight that it was my fault Derick moved out, becuase I let Tim stay here for too long. I feel like a dickhead now for various reasons. I dunno if Adam was being a cock, or if he was telling the truth. Either way I still feel like an incredible douchebag.

Also I ran into Angie Bendict, who I had an imense crush on in High School. She was at Magoo's, with a shit load of other high school people. She had a little girl, Teryn, approx. 2 years ago and she looks amazing still.
We talked about having a play date with her daughter and mine, but we will see what happens.
Then Adam started kissing on her and being a sly fox like I am not.
I wanted to kill him with my bare hands.

Why am I posting this on the internet...

I'm going to bed.

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Got to see B to the Renda tonight, she is in T-Town for the weekend and she is always a blast to hang out with.

I also sang Karaoke for the first time in a real live bar in my lifetime, which was something of a secret i'd been keeping... now I feel like I am awesome and should do so all the time.

Song's I sang tonight, in order:

The Killer - When You Were Young
My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Prmoise)
Violent Femmes - Blister in the Sun

I picked them because they are some of my favorite songs, but some of my favorite artists, and I feel like I rocked the ever loving SHIT out of MCR... but yah... I digress.

I am going to bed. I am tired, and must work soon.

Night

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So it is the tail end of Rebecka's 5th Birthday.
It is strange to think that five years have passed since that day. I have pictures of that day. Pictures that show the raw emotion of a child coming into the world, it's pretty intense.

I feel like I dont do enough though. I always feel like I dont do enough.
We stayed up kinda late last night, the Gateway to India christmas party was a blast last evening and then we came home and watched old Christmas shows and fell asleep on the couch. We finally relocated to bed around 5 am or so.

We had a easy going morning and went to lunch with Auna and her new baby, and Auna's boyfriend. It was civil beyond belief and really good for Rebecka I think. After lunch she opened presents and we had cake.
We went home and got our bearings on the rest of the day, and she played with some of the new stuff she got.
We decided that we would go and see my dad and Kris at their house and have cake and ice cream there. We then went and saw Bolt together and then I dropped her off at her mom's house around 9 or so.

It all fits in once paragraph and that makes me feel bad in a way.
I feel like I dont do enough for her sometimes. I don't know why I have that feeling, but I just do.
It seems like no matter how hard I try I can't shake a little bit of a funk that I have sometimes.

I was hoping to write alot more about this all, but i'm extremely tired now for some reason.

Maybe i'll amend this later...

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Just on paper instead of here.
A notebook sits on my desk, and i've been writeing how I feel about everything with Auna, and Rebecka, and all the maddness that has ensued over the last years.
It seems strange that i'm no longer in a relationship sometimes.
I dont know why. Or what it is that i'm feeling really. I wonder what I miss, the cuddling, the sex, the comradery, the safety, or any other random combination of these things, plus a million others I cant list.

All the things I want out of life, they all seem outside of my grasp.
I want everything for Rebecka. I mean everything.
I want her to feel safe, and I want her to know I want to be there for her.
It breaks my heart when she asks me when her birthday party is, because it's so hard to plan such a thing on your own. I mean invitations, party planning, location (my apartment is hardly large enough for a small get together of friends, let alone a party), gifts, food, games... everything. It cost's money, all of it.
Money that I dont have.
I'm barely scraping by each month. I pay my rent, halved with Tim, and the other bills: Power, Internet, TV, and Credit Cards, plus that stupid car payment for the car that Auna drives. Everytime I talk to her about it, she gets all upset and offended and wants to know how she will get around if she has to give up the car, or we sell it, or what. I kick myself in the ass for being such a spineless coward everyday.

It's snowing outside, and i'm listening to Jimmy Eat World, and I just want to melt. I want to be carried away by something, and be told that everything will be allright.
I want to walk endlessly, till my cheeks are red, and I know in my lungs what it is to be alive. I want to feel accomplished in something, instead of simply scratching lines of text off my never ending notes to myself.

Right now, it's all christmas lists, and scrapbooking projects for Rebecka's school.

My landlord hasnt taken the rent out of my account yet, but when they do, I will have enough for the 3 online payments i've scheduled, and the car payment. Everything else is food money, and the last 15% or so of my christmas shopping.
Santa Claus is going to be very good to Rebecka this year, but how come Santa stops bring gifts to good little 24 year old boys who follow the rules, and do as they are told.
Why can't he fill my stocking with hope, love, understanding.... something. Anything! I just need something. I can't keep going on like this... I need to know that why I am doing is right.
I need to understand that i'm making a difference, and not just surviving. As so many cliche's have been said in the past, I dont just want to survive, I want to live.

As much as I love snuggling with my little booboo, who is almost 5 years old. It is getting trying for us to share a twin bed... it's pathetic... like something out of Charles Dicken's.

It melt's my heart, dont get my wrong, when she snuggles up to me and says "your the best daddy I ever had".
But she deserves her own bed, just as much as I do.
My weekly and weekend life are so very different, I go to bed at 11 or 11:30 on weekdays, and can barely pull myself out of bed at 8 am because we share a bed.
On the weekends, when it's just me (she is with my mom, or like this weekend, her mom) I can go to bed at 3 am, wake up 2 different times during the night, and get out of bed with no problem to get ready for work.
I used to think it was insomnia, or something else, but it seems equally plausible that Rebecka kicking me in the ribs every half hour to hour during the night is keeping me from getting any rest.

It's still snowing, and as exciting as that is to me because I love it so. I hope it doesnt jepordize my ability to make money at work tommorow by keeping people home.
I need to make as much money as possible while I can. The new year is just around the corner, and with it comes another chance for me to start my life anew. Starting off on the right foot... but if I cant make enough money to put away for rent next month, then I dont know what I will do... borrow money from a friend or co-worker I guess.
I already borrowed money from my sister so I could go to Costco this last month...

i'm pathetic.

Why can't I just catch a break? When my car got hit by the school bus 2 years ago, or whatever, I squandered that money. When my mom sold the house, and gave my sister and I a cut of it, I squandered that as well. Why was I so stupid? I keep rediculously good bank records, and it's painful to go back and look at that.
If I had 4 grand in my bank account right now, I would be happy than a pig in shit. But instead I have barely enough to make it by each month...

My head is spinning. Maybe I will go for a walk in the majesty of the white coming from the sky.
Goodnight...

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I will continue to post here because i feel like venting, i dunno why though
I just feel so lonely all the time...
Dont get me wrong, Rebecka is amazing and I dunno what I would do without her... but I just feel so lost lately

I've spent decent chunks of the last 3 days at the Hospital with my mom, she had surgery on friday. She had to have part of her lower intestines removed and then worked on, it was the culmination of a long period of therapy, and doctor's visits and multiple prognoses.. this was just the end result.
She seems to be doing fine, they will be taking her catheter out tommorow i guess, and she may be able to begin on solid food again... but we will see.
Tonight I spent about 5 1/2 hours there with her, we took a walk, and watched a movie, we talked, which by the way she told me that my aunt (her sister) thought at one point (before Rebecka was born) that I was gay - something I had no inkling of.
It was interesting to find out.

In contrast to that, there are these 2 cute girls that work in the quad that my mom is staying in, and guess what their names are? Rebecca, and Becky... its rediculous.
I'm sure there is some kind of patient family/employee barring... and I literally dont have the guts to hit on anyone at a hospital.. or anywhere for that matter. But they are both really sweet and caring, and they are doing a good job with my mom.
Like I said, I guess i'm just lonely...

In terms of women that are completely out of reach in the general sense, there are 2 women I am completely and utterly fascinated with right now... and it isnt something that I feel will go away anytime soon.
However.. one is older, and one is younger. By wide margins. It's literally a rediculous premise... and thats all we will say on that matter.

I feel like everytime I meet someone who I am compatible with there are all kinds of rediculous boundaries that bar me from ever getting close to them...

I am starting to feel ill for some reason... so i'm gonna log this one away, i'll continue my rediculous ramblings later...

bye

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hello world, i think i'm depressed...

i dont know what to do half the time anymore... i feel sick... i feel tired
why cant i get enough sleep? i am really always tired...
maybe i am dying? i wish i could afford a doctor, that would be nice...

i found out about Pandora radio, and i've been listening to all kinds of wickedly awesome music...

halloween was yesterday, Rebecka was very excited, and i was as well for the most part... i didnt finish my own costume though, it may be the first year in... forever i didnt have a costume... i think that is eating me up a little bit right now, Rebecka was a fairy princess though, it was a very cute costume... i made the wings, they were awesome

halloween was also partially depressing because i walked past 2-3 houses with Becka that were having huge parties (friday night and all) and were full of people around my own age... and it just made me sad i didnt get any invites to a party myself (not that i'd have been able to go anyway)

the important thing however is that Rebecka had a good halloween, which i am under the impression she did

its been quite a while since i made a post here... i always think about it, but never really get to this point for some reason...
half the time i feel like no one cares what i have to say, then i remember this is a blog mostly for me... to go back and read later... a public diary of sorts...

i watched Donnie Darko tonight, by myself, because i was lonely and sad and it made me feel better in a strange way, im not really sure why...
the scene where Gretchen runs out of class upset at the bullies who brought up her mom and step-dad and Donnie chases her so they can talk, and she just turns around and they kiss passionatly, because he is something beautiful in her life... i was in awe for some reason during this viewing
i've seen the movie a million times, but for some reason i just felt so much more emotioally attached this time...

also, did you know that the actor who plays the main bully (along with seth rogan) is actually the lead singer from phantom planet? i didnt till tonight...

in 3 days i will be rejoiceing at the victory of Obama, and maybe i will no longer be rediculously depressed... just maybe

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So, I havnt gone to the movies an awful lot lately, mostly because I simply wait for what should be a good kid's movie and then go with Rebecka to see that. We saw Kung Fu Panda last week, and it was cute and everything but really nothing super spectacular (although it had alot of great actors doing the voices, especially David Cross!!!). It will definatly be a movie I buy for Rebecka on DVD when it comes out and all that jazz.

However tonight we went and saw WALL-E because I knew I wouldnt see her for the next few days, as after the movie I took her out to my mom's for 4th of July weekend. I have to work, and her school is closed for these next 2 days (plus the weekend). So it was easiest on everyone for he to go and spend the next couple of days with Grandma.

Anywho, back to the movie. WALL-E was amazing. Simply amazing. I laughed, I cried (alot) actually, and I felt more moved by a movie than I have in a long time. And the movie was computer animated, and about robots (who are supposed to be cold, unfeeling machines).
I feel like it may be the best movie I have seen in a very long time, I am all up for seeing it in the theatre again soon with anyone who may be intersted in experiencing the greatness that was this movie.

No real spoilers beyond here, but if you care to walk into a film without having read anything about it, then now is your chance to walk away!!

For the most part, the first section of the movie has no dialogue whatsoever. It is well crafted in that respect, simply letting you take in the sights (or lack thereof in the movies world) and come to understand your mostly silent (beeps and clicks) protagonist, WALL-E (which stands hilariously enough for Waste Allocation Load Lifter - Earth Class). I feel like the movie could have entirely been about the interactions WALL-E has with his environment and a sole cockroach companion if they had wanted it to, but what kind of movie would that have been? A good one, but one without the zing that Pixar always has to offer.
Things change in the next part of the movie when a space probe of sorts, whose name/callsign is revealed later to be EVE, comes down to earth and begins to scan everything in sight.

Now anything I tell you beyond this point would be incredibly telling of the general story of the movie, and it's greatness, and you should just go see it for yourself. All I will tell you now is what I have already told you above, this movie is fabulous. I have seen all of Pixar's movies, hell I think I own all of then on DVD as well, but I cannot wait for this to come out. I have already decided that I am buying it on BluRay and having a movie party surrounding it.

Watching it in a movie theatre I feel I have to keep my emotions in check, and if I hadnt had Rebecka there with me, as well as countless other people around me, I would have lost it completely. The movie is sad at times, but for the most part I was crying because I was happy. Happy that there are people out there that understand... they do. They obviously understand life, and love... and everything.
I wish that one day I can understand, for real, and not from an outside perspective.
Rebecka was genuinely worried about me as well, because I think that was the first time she had seen me cry, at least publicly. She is too young still to fully understand the movies message, but I caught wind of it from the moment I met the main character.

The film isnt without its flaws however, which I will not delve into here, but the latter half of the movie has a few things I would have corrected in the general story line.

Anywho, this has chugged on and i'm ready for bed and a possibly crazy day at the Lobster Shop in the moring (stupid tall ships and their stupidness). So I am off now, and will leave you all with my best... and the contiuning urge for you to go see WALL-E!!! COMON! JUST DO IT!

<3 me

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Spent the night over at Terra's new place last night, she moved into The Vintage, which is about 6-7 blocks away from my place.
We watched Juno (which I hadnt seen yet) and all I have to say is wow. That movie was pretty much amazing.

But yah. Sleep over's are awesome.
All in all, a good night.

Then today we had Movie Night at Jamie and Stephanie's place, and movie of the month was Evil Dead 2. I think out of the 12+ people there, I was one of 3 to have seen it before. Then we played Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros.

Now I am reading, and considering passing out.
I think sleep sounds amazing!

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The new Weezer album isnt really all that great... better than The Green Album and Make Beleive though... but still not all that great.

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