Boyfriends - the good the bad and the ugly (original) (raw)

July 21st, 2012

Leave me ALONE!So, I'm in this really serious relationship, we have lived/been together for 4 and a half years now and yet we still aren't married. Its frustrating sometimes but other times I remember m still young and i need to make it through college before taking any drastic steps. Honestly Sometimes, I get bored with him. It feels like its the same thing over and over again.. When i think about losing him though my stomach turns upside down and I feel so awful. He can be a dick though. Anyways recently I started talking to this guy, We can call him Allec. Allec is super handsome, charming, and pretty independent. His mom lives on the road mine does and whenever I go over to her house more than likely he is at his moms. Iv'e only seen him a few times however in those moments we locked eyes and there was something about him I couldn't figure out.. A spark maybe?? We started chatting on a social networking site and one thing led to another to where we were talking about hanging out and getting to know each other a little better.. The days have come and gone and when he finally asked to hang out with me I turned him down.. twice.. I just cant put my other half through that.. It would be selfish.. I don't want to hurt someone like that..Plus im pretty insecure about how I look.. I mean this guy is HOT. He has seen me but still I am completely comfortable with my boo I am with now.. I don't wanna start something else.. I feel like Iv'e sent him mixed signals and he keeps harassing me now about coming over.. He knows where i live and when I work.. so I'm hoping and praying he doesn't show up one day or i'm probably going to have aheart attack...I'm just saying..Anyways, without hurting the new guy to much (which I doubt because I know he just wants a piece of ass) How do I tell him Im really not INTERESTED! Seems like nothing I say is getting through because he's used to getting his way... And how to I make my relationship less boring... Not this time.

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January 18th, 2012

So I have always been very quiet and unnoticed growing up. Few crushes, even fewer dates through high school and first 2 years of college. Until I took a risk and reached out, well turns out you can find love on craigslist. I was not expecting much except for a creeper I might have to shake off. He is not anything I could have ever imagined, who knew someone could be more shy than me? Or that english is not his native language and he only became a citizen a few years ago.Things just clicked with us, both science nerds, I am more of a closet nerd, he's got the big microbiology degree. Even though I know nothing about video/computer games and seem angelic compared to him and his brother we never seem to get tired of talking. We grew close very quickly and things have been great for over a year. I just have these nagging problems with him, he is seriously lacking in some common sense sometimes and I have become frustrated in feeling like I am taking care of a child or something. For example I basically taught him to drive this summer and he can be absentminded so I stress a lot about him getting into an accident. He is currently living at his parents home and is looking for a job and to my standards isn't looking very hard and won't take a min. wage job just for the time being. So thus this leads to him hating living at home and being depressed which equals less motivation to improve his situation. Also the language barrier just has become awkward when I visit, they all speak english well its just not what is normally spoken in the house so I always feel intrusive no matter what. His mother even teaches polish at the university but is always super busy and hasn't really offered to help me learn, neither has he but I understand it would be hard for him. I am truly trying, buying books, using livemocha, etc and still he is basically refusing to help me. Now we are semi-long distance and he is going to Poland for a few weeks and has become increasingly less communicative. I know I have issues with wanting constant contact but have been trying to be more understanding. He is basically my first boyfriend and I feel like we get along great I just always have this constant doubting going on. With both of us graduating college and transitioning to the 'real world' I am really worried how much stress it will put on our relationship and where we will end up with jobs. I am hoping he will find one soon that will look to be relatively long term so I could feel comfortable looking for a job in the same area.I don't know, this is all just frustrating and I don't really have anyone to talk to and have to internalize most of it living with my father as well.

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July 16th, 2011

Life is so crazy sometimes, one minute you're happy and the next you aren’t. I was in a very stressful relationship for 2 years up until about 5 days ago. He and I were complete opposites. I am a very rule abiding person. I'm not the type of normal teenager (19) who likes to sneak out and do whatever the hell they feel like. I am the type to stay home and watch movies or go out to eat with friends. I really hate putting myself in any position to get into trouble. Aaron on the other hand thrives off of the adrenaline I think. In the past year he has gotten into so much. Fired from work, kicked out of school, kicked out of his parents house, moved into a friend’s house (who was an even worse influence), and kicked out of there and eventually moving in with me and my family. I've been through all of this and more with him. And no matter what happens to him he refuses to change the one thing that has been the main cause of all of these problems, drugs. Now while it wasn’t anything more serious than pot, and pills occasionally, it has still been the root of every problem. I have begged him to stop and he tells me that he has and I always find out he is lying to me. Often he ditches me for his so called "friends". I finally just got so unbelievably stressed and worn thin from it that I broke up with him. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. He was so much to me, my first serious love. My first lover, my first person I could see myself with. He was also my best friend. A dork who loved to play video games and when we were together he was great to me, always sweet and goofy. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. But at the same time I feel like a huge part of me is gone. And while one part of me knows it is good for me the other part just wants to call him and take him back. I don't know how I am supposed to do this...
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Life is so crazy sometimes, one minute you're happy and the next you aren’t. I was in a very stressful relationship for 2 years up until about 5 days ago. He and I were complete opposites. I am a very rule abiding person. I'm not the type of normal teenager (19) who likes to sneak out and do whatever the hell they feel like. I am the type to stay home and watch movies or go out to eat with friends. I really hate putting myself in any position to get into trouble. Aaron on the other hand thrives off of the adrenaline I think. In the past year he has gotten into so much. Fired from work, kicked out of school, kicked out of his parents house, moved into a friend’s house (who was an even worse influence), and kicked out of there and eventually moving in with me and my family. I've been through all of this and more with him. And no matter what happens to him he refuses to change the one thing that has been the main cause of all of these problems, drugs. Now while it wasn’t anything more serious than pot, and pills occasionally, it has still been the root of every problem. I have begged him to stop and he tells me that he has and I always find out he is lying to me. Often he ditches me for his so called "friends". I finally just got so unbelievably stressed and worn thin from it that I broke up with him. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. He was so much to me, my first serious love. My first lover, my first person I could see myself with. He was also my best friend. A dork who loved to play video games and when we were together he was great to me, always sweet and goofy. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. But at the same time I feel like a huge part of me is gone. And while one part of me knows it is good for me the other part just wants to call him and take him back. I don't know how I am supposed to do this...

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May 10th, 2011

**I know this is a little long but please read through this I am just so.... lost and confused and I need advice badly.**I just need to get this off my chest to strangers because sometimes it's better to get unbiased opinions or comments. The bf (now ex) were together for a little over a year. We fell in love quick and he couldn't WAIT to tell me he loved me after a couple months. He's a marine, which made me VERY Leary at first to even pursue anything with him as my past military dating experiences have been pure SHIT and the marines I know are rowdy and such. He told me to give him a chance and that he's "not like the others" (typical to say) but I did give him a chance and realized he really wasn't. He's a happy hippie kind of guy. Loves the outdoors, wants to hike the Appalachian trail. Is peaceful and happy all the time, doesn't hang out with the guys he works with, gets along easily with everyone and everyone of my friends and family love him to death. This is a first. He treats me so well too but we have our issues like anyone else and his biggest issue is that we can NEVER talk about anything serious ever. He will brush it off and out it in the back of his mind until it's too late or he brings things up when it's not even relevant anymore. If I force him to talk about issues we NEED to talk about right then and there we fight because he gets really mad and can't process the issue properly because he doesn't want to face it. Well we ultimately decided to break up because in a couple months he will be out of the Marines and headed back to Maine where his family and friends live. I live in VA. That's quite a ways away and after not really being able to spend much time with them during his 8+ years of service, he deserves to be with them and go where he actually WANTS to go but he said he can't do long distance relationships..... wouldn't even discuss it with me for a minute it was blunt and to the point....he can't do them. WHY? Because he dated 2 girls where when he deployed they cheated on him.... 2 girls who are not me, someone like him who deserves a fair chance only I actually GAVE him that chance that he asked for, so what about me? Guess it doesn't apply. He just doesn't trust me to be faithful I suppose so thank you other girls for ruining that for me and fucking him up. So not fair.Well it's been 4+ months since we broke up though we are really good friends, hang out a lot and kind of act like we are still a couple because we both love eachother and he hasn't moved yet but he thinks this will be easier somehow in the end when he leaves. Well I met another guy recently. He and I have so much in common it's scary. Most of our favorites are the same and he's cute, sweet, and I have the biggest crush, it's refreshing. He lives really far though but already says he will be moving closer to me and we've only hung out a few times. He says the sweetest things to me in the morning and at night and throughout the day. I can't help but to feel like I want to explore this but I also feel like I like it because it's new and I miss those crushes. Well COINCIDENTALLY as I am really into this new guy, the ex comes out of nowhere with a hint of marriage. He finally opens up and says hey I know what I have in you and I love you s much I want a family with you and want to be with you forever etc etc and I believe these things but I feel like wow wtf, you had ALL this time and so many chances to talk to me when I asked you to or asked you how you felt or tried to bring up marriage and kids. You wait until we are broken up and when YOU are good and ready and I'm supposed to just say okay? I would love to but I am so hurt. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel like there were so many opportunities for him to speak up and now that I gave up on us and was finally ready to move on he hits me with this...I don't want to lose him but I feel like it's unfair and yet he's moving regardless of my decision and I can't go with him anytime soon anyway so I am completely lost. I'm going to be heartbroken either way I think. We'd be happy together but when would I be able to move? I wasn't worth him staying clearly or I wouldn't be in this predicament right now and I wouldn't have looked elsewhere if we were together :( I just don't know what to do. And the other guy is looking for a serious long term relationship and marriage himself so both guys are ready only one will be closer than the other and I have a really good job with really good benefits that I'm scared to lose as well. The whole situation is f*cked.

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May 9th, 2011

My spouse and I split up just over a month ago and it hasn't gotten easier. He says that he loves me and wants to be together but needs to work on himself before there can be an us. There are things he wants to change and thinks the only way for that to happen is to do it apart. Our relationship wasn't perfect and neither am I but this is tearing me apart. He tells me to have hope that we will be together. I want to believe that but he has broken my heart. It tears me apart that when I want to see him or talk to him he's not there. I truly believe everything he says to me but it just won't sink in. I wish there was another way. I hurt so much and he could take it all away. Why would he chose not too.....how am I suppose to believe that one day, who knows when, but one day we will be together......
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My spouse and I split up just over a month ago and it hasn't gotten easier. He says that he loves me and wants to be together but needs to work on himself before there can be an us. There are things he wants to change and thinks the only way for that to happen is to do it apart. Our relationship wasn't perfect and neither am I but this is tearing me apart. He tells me to have hope that we will be together. I want to believe that but he has broken my heart. It tears me apart that when I want to see him or talk to him he's not there. I truly believe everything he says to me but it just won't sink in. I wish there was another way. I hurt so much and he could take it all away. Why would he chose not too.....how am I suppose to believe that one day, who knows when, but one day we will be together......

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March 1st, 2011

I could care less that you're drunk right now on the phone with me and your friends are being loud in the background.I'm just glad you're having fun.You deserve it.You really do. You're wonderful.(You're also adorable when you're drunk.)You just asked me to make you mac&cheese.I would if I could. Just tend to your every little drunk whim.Why? Because I love you.
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February 23rd, 2011

My boyfriend and I have dated off and on for about 2yrs. I say off and on because we went through a few months where we broke up and later got back together. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic. 3yrs sober now. He has intimacy issues, and I have issues with insecurity. That being said. I feel we are a 'work in progress'.Aside from our little issues, we are a good couple. We communicate a lot more. A lot of our first year dating felt like a roller coaster ride. There was little communication and a lot of misunderstandings and skewed perceptions with one another. I feel this is changing for the better.Although my boyfriend is not perfect (neither am I), he has a lot of good qualities. He's a great dad to his daughters. He is kind, intelligent, fun and funny. He has a child like spirit that I enjoy. He's a tough outdoorsy man, yet he's accommodating and gentle. He is not the 'cheating kind'. He is very respectful towards me, and always makes me feel beautiful. He doesn't care if I show up in a sexy outfit or t-shirt and jeans...he says it doesn't matter. But if I do dress sexy, he notices ;) Considering my experiences in general with men in the general public, I feel I'm very lucky, and so is he :) lol
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My boyfriend and I have dated off and on for about 2yrs. I say off and on because we went through a few months where we broke up and later got back together. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic. 3yrs sober now. He has intimacy issues, and I have issues with insecurity. That being said. I feel we are a 'work in progress'.Aside from our little issues, we are a good couple. We communicate a lot more. A lot of our first year dating felt like a roller coaster ride. There was little communication and a lot of misunderstandings and skewed perceptions with one another. I feel this is changing for the better.Although my boyfriend is not perfect (neither am I), he has a lot of good qualities. He's a great dad to his daughters. He is kind, intelligent, fun and funny. He has a child like spirit that I enjoy. He's a tough outdoorsy man, yet he's accommodating and gentle. He is not the 'cheating kind'. He is very respectful towards me, and always makes me feel beautiful. He doesn't care if I show up in a sexy outfit or t-shirt and jeans...he says it doesn't matter. But if I do dress sexy, he notices ;) Considering my experiences in general with men in the general public, I feel I'm very lucky, and so is he :) lol

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January 24th, 2011

My boyfriend is the nerdiest guy I know. He plays his xbox everyday.He plays RP Games.He gets upset when he can't game.He pre-orders every game possible.His paycheck goes into games.He is the biggest Star Wars fan I know.And he's absolutely perfect.When I was younger I never would have given him a chance to be with me. But I sure am happy that I did give him the chance. I love him to death and wouldn't trade him for anything. We are perfect together.
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My boyfriend is the nerdiest guy I know. He plays his xbox everyday.He plays RP Games.He gets upset when he can't game.He pre-orders every game possible.His paycheck goes into games.He is the biggest Star Wars fan I know.And he's absolutely perfect.When I was younger I never would have given him a chance to be with me. But I sure am happy that I did give him the chance. I love him to death and wouldn't trade him for anything. We are perfect together.

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January 20th, 2011

I spend thirty minutes writing about him.How amazing I think he is, and how we're clearly meant to be together.Then...I erased it all and I'm only going to write this:_I secretly really love his facial hair._Even though I tell him to shave all the time.If I could rub my cheek on it each night when we're falling asleep...Well, I don't even know what I would do.Long story short.I even love the things about him that irritate me.

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January 14th, 2011

X-Posted from lilmarronWhy do we do it? I know I'm not crazy and it's not just me...btw I also know it's my generation and so maybe I'm not crazy alone, but the whole dang generation is insane...but seriously...guys pin us girls against each other and we're more than happy to just go with it!If you talk to "my man" I hate you. If you look at "my man" I hate you. If you smile at "my man" while you're working your 9-5 waitressing job and just serving him his meal so you can get on with your life and go home to your own man I hate you. Why do I hate you? Because you're messing with "my man".Only it's not you. You have nothing to do with it. I have plenty of ex's of my own that I talk to and would never in a hundred thousand years, even if everyone on earth was dead except me and him find any interest in ever again. But for some reason "my man's" ex's are a different story...every one of them a skank for ever having doubted my relationship with him (despite the fact that they were with him before I was and never had any intention of giving him up)...Guys do it to us. They make us feel worthless. There are thousands of women in the world...so what makes me better than the rest.YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME BETTER! I'M ME! I may not be the best for guy a or b or d or e, but that's because SOME OTHER BEAUTIFUL SMART HARD WORKING WOMAN IS BETTER FOR THEM! But I AM BEST for guy e because he and I fit together better. We care more about each other than anyone else could. We have a bond that can only be described as a miracle. When you find your right guy (whether he's a,b,d,e,or f...cause mine was guy c) you can know he is your right guy because you are perfect for one another, despite the fact that other people don't see either of you as perfect.
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X-Posted from lilmarronWhy do we do it? I know I'm not crazy and it's not just me...btw I also know it's my generation and so maybe I'm not crazy alone, but the whole dang generation is insane...but seriously...guys pin us girls against each other and we're more than happy to just go with it!If you talk to "my man" I hate you. If you look at "my man" I hate you. If you smile at "my man" while you're working your 9-5 waitressing job and just serving him his meal so you can get on with your life and go home to your own man I hate you. Why do I hate you? Because you're messing with "my man".Only it's not you. You have nothing to do with it. I have plenty of ex's of my own that I talk to and would never in a hundred thousand years, even if everyone on earth was dead except me and him find any interest in ever again. But for some reason "my man's" ex's are a different story...every one of them a skank for ever having doubted my relationship with him (despite the fact that they were with him before I was and never had any intention of giving him up)...Guys do it to us. They make us feel worthless. There are thousands of women in the world...so what makes me better than the rest.YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME BETTER! I'M ME! I may not be the best for guy a or b or d or e, but that's because SOME OTHER BEAUTIFUL SMART HARD WORKING WOMAN IS BETTER FOR THEM! But I AM BEST for guy e because he and I fit together better. We care more about each other than anyone else could. We have a bond that can only be described as a miracle. When you find your right guy (whether he's a,b,d,e,or f...cause mine was guy c) you can know he is your right guy because you are perfect for one another, despite the fact that other people don't see either of you as perfect.

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