conuly, posts by tag: introspection - LiveJournal (original) (raw)

Remember a while back, I posted about hiding food? I used to do that. No reason, I just did.

I'm thinking back now, I used to hide a lot as a kid. And still do, to a lesser extent. Serious hiding, not like Ana will "hide" for hide-and-seek. I'm sure in the end my family always knew where I was, but I intended to hide from them.

Sometimes this was related to being scared of something (not generally them, even), but other times... I just wanted to hide. I was so happy to have a latch on my door on 18th avenue, and easy egress into the backyard or roof from there, for that reason.

And there's no outside reason for it, y'know? No trauma, no fear necessarily, no reason to have to hide. I just like to feel safe, secure, and, well, hidden.

Now that I've posted that, I'll explain something that may have irritated my family. This is why I won't sit away from the wall on the boat if I can help it, or in a restaurant. Because no walls feels absolutely unsafe. One wall is better, two is best if I can be in a nice corner. But to be sitting in the open, with people walking around? I just don't like it. No reason, I just don't like it.

So now, Jenn, now you know.

Tags: introspection, thoughts
I'm feeling: thoughtful