Can't hear you 'cause your mouth's full of shit (original) (raw)
footpad mordant
July 3 2008, 15:04
The prevailing mood of many of my British friends is currently pretty acerbic towards their government and their society. And, as someone who left Britain several years ago with little intent of returning, I can appreciate that the country has its fair share of faults.
Now, scruff is a kittycat with impeccable judgement in sensible news, so I can't fault him for linking to the Daily Mail article about a very large edible crab. But, while reading it, I chanced to notice other entries in the sidebar.
Read them. Go on. This is the full list of current headlines from the Mail:
Hunt for murderess who stabbed young woman to death just yards from Jacqui Smith's house
After more fatal stabbings, London Mayor Boris Johnson warns: DON'T get involved if you see trouble
Teenage girl walks free after stabbing to death 17-year-old rival in gang fight
Old soldier killed after asking thugs not to swear in front of a lady
Row over terror vote 'rewards' turns to farce as Brown is quizzed - by Labour MP at centre of furore
Terrorist with 'direct links' to Osama Bin Laden released on bail in Britain as deportation bid fails
Indisciplined, scruffy and getting away with blue murder... damning verdict on Britain's frontline police officers
Pensions 'apartheid' gap is getting wider but MORE public sector workers pick up gold-plated packages
Christian pub landlords fired by brewery after they ban their regulars from swearing
Two-year-old boy sparks police search after taking his dog for walk... at 3am
Pictured: The moment Israeli officers shot dead Palestinian in bulldozer terror attack
Bullock trapped on cliff ledge for THREE DAYS as officials argue over £7,500 bill to rescue it
Britons should brace themselves for a year of hardship, warns Bank of England deputy chief
BBC watchdog attacks Top Gear for glamorising drink-driving - after Clarkson sipped G&T during race to North Pole
Boy, 12, held over murder of pensioner in house arson attack
BBC under fire from QC over portrayal of devious barristers in Criminal Justice drama
Riding The Widowmaker: Brave 17-year-old is youngest to surf Britain's biggest wave
'I'm meeting my frendy for a drinkowac': The bizarre 'Ponglish' slang spoken by Poles in Britain
White man convicted of racial abuse after making 'honky' jibe at WHITE security guards
Queen's former servant died after hospital turned him away following a fall
Pictured: Monster crab with claws the size of a man's hand captured off the British coast
After years of working for free, Down's Syndrome man must PAY to wash councillors' dishes
How a daily cup of green tea can give you a healthy heart in minutes
So how much of this shit is actually news? What picture does it give you of what's going on in the world? For the sake of all that's fucking holy, how are you going to perceive your society after reading what the Daily Mail is trying to ram down your craw?
In case I actually need to drive this point home, the Daily Mail is telling you that:
It is now illegal to make jokes in Britain.
Everyone in office or uniform is an incompetent freeloading moron.
You are in immediate personal danger of being gutted on your doorstep by a sociopathic schoolchild.
Yes, people have gotten into undeserved trouble for innocent remarks. Yes, some officials should be in prison. Yes, there are sociopathic schoolchildren out there. But, Mail readers? Take a look around. Bits of the world suck. But justice is generally just. Most officials are constrained and bored but basically okay. The colossal majority of schoolchildren are no worse than the tykes you had to put up with in the playground.
This is not news. It's not information. It's a diet of shit that seems almost contrived to rot people's brains. Systematic distortion, scare-mongering and morbid titillation tending inexorably towards a fearful, paranoid, and destructively cynical world view. If England has its issues, then the Mail is definitely part of the problem, not the solution. It's mental junk. Do us all a favour and go cold turkey.