Seventeen Candles. (original) (raw)
I'm in power for the hour.
1/23/06 12:00 am - Oh god.
Aren't I just a lucky little shit.
Today I was talking to Matt on the phone trying to make plans to see him. My sister Amanda was willing to help. Natalie's name was brought up as a possibility to help. Well... My mom and dad were listening to all of it on the other line. Great, huh?
I am now EXTRA EXTRA banned from having anything to do with Matt, and even banned from going out with my own sister, Natalie, or ANYONE else. My mother even called Matt and threatened to call 911 on him if he tried to see me.
So this is all very bad news, but I have not quite digested it yet. There is one good part... My mom was like "if you choose to hang out with these people after you're 18, then you won't be staying here," so I said I need to get a job so I can save up. Then my dad was like "we'll take you to get a job if your paycheck goes in our account so we can make sure it's being saved up, and once you're 18 you can get an apartment and do what you want."
"Deal. I'll do that."
If you guys can just hang in a little bit longer...
It may seem long to you guys, but seeing as I've been saying "I can't wait until I'm 18" since I was thirteen, that does NOT seem long at all.
Okay, maybe a little long. Sigh.
Amanda: I heard you defending me. I knew it wouldn't help my situation, but it really helped me by making me feel not so alone. I feel awful for putting you in this situation and I won't again. I'm really sorry. Thank you so much for being great to me. You are the best sister I could ask for, really. I can't explain how grateful I am for you. Again, I'm so sorry for putting you in this situation. Thanks for your support.
1/22/06 02:50 am - Mushiness.
Bobby, Natalie, Matt, William, and Michael: I adore you guys.
I forgot Amanda. And no, I'm not just saying that to suck up. I really do adore you, Amanda. I like spending my early morning hours in your room discussing our problems and fun stories during commercials.
1/21/06 06:53 pm - LAAAAAAA
HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO AMANDA.
Everyone is growing up. I feel so so so young. Like everyone is old except for me and Natalie.
Natalie, call me asap. It's not an emergency or anything, I just want to taaaalk about stuff.
Oh, Matt's girlfriend wasn't mad. That's neat.
1/21/06 05:41 am - I dream of the first kiss and who'll make the first move.
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
I hate my love life. Hate hate hate it.
My blood vessels are breaking.
It hurts to hold back, so hold me or I might crack. I'm gasoline, you're the match. I'm not sure if we could handle that. It might explode. Could be a mess. I say we take the chance.
William, I need you to do me favor whenever you're done thinking about life's meaning or whatever it is you smart people do in your spare time.
1/21/06 05:16 am - Sigh.
Today has sucked. I haven't talked to Matt in two days and I have a feeling that he avoided me tonight because of his girlfriend. It kind of sucks to be blown off because you have feelings you can't make go away.
You're just damage control for a walking corpse like me.
Where are all my best friends when I need them? Oh yeah. They're out replacing me.
I hate feeling replaced. I don't think any of you know the feeling as good as I do.
My sister's friend "Chris Young" thinks I'm hot. I'm supposed to remember who he is, but I don't and his picture doesn't ring much of a bell. Not that it really matters. I guess I'm just grasping for self esteem.
1/20/06 08:56 pm - Rubber ducky, you're not the one!
Whenever I'm gushing to tell people about something I realize how little people ask me how I am, how my day was, or how my life is going. Like nobody asks me! I always ask people how they are and stuff.
Apparently Matt's girlfriend found out that I love Matt.
Oopsies? Heh.
1/19/06 04:12 am - Yay.
monday in panic: =-O! can you have an orgasm off of just kissing?
involuntary hero: It depends where they kiss you
involuntary hero: LOLOLOL
monday in panic: ON THE LIPS YOU SILLY GOOOSEY!
involuntary hero: Which set of lips?
involuntary hero: LOLOLOLOL
I love that girl.
Em <3 Gnat.
monday in panic: you silly freaky sexxxxxx goddess!
involuntary hero: You're saying that to someone who hasn't had sex since April... by choice
1/19/06 01:13 am - Wheeee.
Today today todaaaay.
I had another good day.
Math was neat. I talked with Emily Preddy and Sarah Shafer most of the time. We were noisy and obnoxious and the whole class wanted us dead, but the teacher didn't have much to bitch about because we always got the answers right when he gave us questions. Emily poked me in the eye and it hurt. Then she wouldn't believe that I wear a C bra so I pulled up my shirt and made her look at the tag. Ha ha ha. Bobby got mad at us for some reason and went storming out of the classroom. He didn't come back until class was nearly over. Shrug.
Inbetween classes Emily brought me to her and Bobby's english teacher. I was a bit taken aback when he looked at me then Emily, and said "So this is her? Nice to meet you" and shook my hand. Apparently Emily had told him that I'm pretty and she used to like me. She was like "see, isn't she pretty, Mr. K?" I was just like oh my god, dude, you just don't talk about that kind of thing with your teacher. Hahah. He reminded me of Matt and Neal.
Anyway, "Mr. K" suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be teaching a class (Bobby's class, in fact), but didn't feel like it so he just told them to go home. So Bobby and I went out to lunch and then went back.
Psychology was boring and I couldn't bring myself to focus very much. I'm not really into the Scientific Method. I've had to learn about it in every single science class I've ever taken. Boring.
Bobby and I hung out for a while after class. His sister made me some really yummy chocolate coffee, but I forgot about it and it went cold. :(
Oh, and inbetween classes Emily and I started play fighting. She's so easy to beat. She kept trying to slam my head into the wall for revenge from when I did it to her... unfortunately for her, I'm stronger than I look. Lolly. I simply held her foot down with my own and pushed her. Wham, she hit the ground. Lolllllly.
Blah blah blah.
I'm happy.
1/18/06 08:45 am
Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.
1/18/06 04:13 am - Oh my.
"Um." @ conversation with Matt tonight.
One part...
Me: Ugh, there's this kid in my painting class that always wears an American Idiot beanie.
Matt: Is his name Chip?
Me: UH YEAH! ???
Matt: I went to rehab with him! He's a really good person.
*facepalm*
So he insists I talk to this Chip kid on Thursday.
Bobby and I have established somewhat of an open relationship type thing. I'm really not ready to fully be in a relationship right now, though we'll get back eventually.