   "Nuns are people, too!!!" -- Bishop Len BrennonWritten by a Buddhist nun, Thubten Chodron...When we have a sense of being a victim, we also have a sense of depending on others for happiness. Initially, we may feel vulnerable if we let go of the 'protective' shield of anger, as if this is tantamount to admitting the other person was right in their wrongful actions. We may feel self-dignity by hanging onto the anger, which is a false sense of power. Genuine self-confidence is open and lacks defensiveness. Its based on knowing our own potential, not on others acting in any particular way.Inside of us is a prosecutor, judge, and jury, and they all agree that the other person is wrong and we are right. This internal courtroom is happy to work overtime. It goes on hour after hour prosecuting the people who have wronged us. In addition to this internal courtroom, all our friends may agree that other people may have overstepped their boundaries. Despite all this sympathy, we are still miserable. Why? Because being right has nothing to do with being happy, even with an apology. To be happy, we have to give up wanting to prove our case, give up needing to have the last word, give up craving to be vindicated. Seeing the need to be right is simply a button that others can push.When others, out of jealousy,Mistreat me with abuse, slander and so on,I will practice accepting defeatAnd offering the victory to them.This means that we contract our over-sensitive buttons, and allow ourselves to be happy. |
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