August 31st, 2013igenlode02:42 am - If Erik came back (Chapter 1 and 2)If Erik came back by oliviariggs123. The author is twelve years old. She is obsessed with the phantom of the opera, she really likes Love Never Dies, and she wants to be an opera singer when she grows up. Should I really be poking fun at her? Well, I wrote better than this when I was seven... and I've got the evidence! Admittedly I didn't have any romance in my stories when I was seven: more a matter of steam engines, sailing ships and sword-fights... Judge for yourself in the awesome awfulness that is..."If Erik came back (phantom of the opera)" All right, bonus points for the choice of icon. Also for apparent lack of Raoul (or should that be Raul?)-bashing. Ok so if you are reading this you have probably heard of The Phantom of the Opera. Or I might have arrived here because I'm one of your friends... surely that's the only conceivable reason why 107 people would have sought out this page, and five of them voted to rank this creation highly? no i do not own Phantom of the Opera. Apparently, one of his mysterious powers is activating my Caps Lock key. Sadly this only has a temporary effect. i wish i did. but Andrew Lloyd Weber younger brother of Carl Maria von Weber does. sadly. Actually i dont even know who owns it. But I've seen every other teenage fan fiction author put a ritual disclaimer on the front of her story, so I'm going to put one here or bust. Chapter 1 Christine's Pov Just in case... We were sitting in the living room, me and Raul my husband's Mexican cousin when we heard him. E Later he would call himself Mister-E, but that was in Coney Island... "What was that?" I asked him. he replied breathlessly "I do not know my dear. stay here and i will check." Polite, protective Raoul -- amazing! I nodded, showing that i understood. Once Raul left the room i heard a voice that I hadn't heard in years. Or not since a few seconds earlier, anyway... It was his voice, the phantoms voice. He was a multiple ventriloquist -- I could hear no fewer than five phantoms, all coming from different parts of the room. Erik grabbed me from my seat and covered my mouth, so i couldn't scream. and he said " my dear you must keep calm" sounding almost as breathless as Raul in their mutual lack of punctuation. i nodded. i was scared for my life. he ran out of the house with me, shoved me in his car and locked the doors so i could not escape. But with all this locking the Caps Lock just couldn't keep up.(Looks as if we're in a modern-day setting, but as I doubt the author is sufficiently acquainted with any other, this is possibly just as well.) Erik ran into the house again. While he was in there i heard a scream, Raul's scream. What was Erik doing to Raul? When Erik came back out to the car he looked mad and happy at the same time. Insane, happy Erik? Not looking good for Raoul, I'm afraid... Erik's Pov I looked into her eyes. i was happy that she was finally mine, whether it was forced on her or not. 'mine' as in 'locked in my car', that was. I loved her and only wished for her to be with me with her seatbelt at my side. "let me go" she yelled But Christine, you were meant to be with him! Don't you know that?. "No, i can not allow that. my dear." i said. I only hoped that she would love me. I mean it would take time, but i could wait. I mean, it's not like Raul screamed and she was, you know, scared. I finally had my angel all to myself. "I am tired" she said. It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is soporific, but it is a little-known fact that the same applies to kidnapping.. "then go to sleep" i told her. She looked at me confused, but then fell asleep. My hypnotic powers had never yet failed. I was actually glad that she slept through our drive. I didn't want her to know where we were going just yet. And it hadn't occurred to me to bring a blindfold, or even *gasp* a MASK... Ending the chapter here because after three hundred words, like Christine I'm exhausted. hoped you like it. i know im not capitalizing words but i will edit it later. I just do not understand this. Is it that much more difficult to press the Shift key briefly as you type, rather than going back afterwards to locate, delete and retype individual letters? please comment. again hope you liked it. At least she doesn't say 'unless you review I won't post the next chapter... Chapter 2 a.k.a. The Shortest Chapter in History Erik's Pov **because every chapter has to start with a point of view, even if it's the same as the last one...**My angel was asleep, but for how much longer. We arrived at my house 2 hours later and surprisingly Christine slept through the entire drive. If you don't know what to do with a character... have her fall asleep for a few hours? I lived in a house, not a cave. Nor did I live in a space-station, a bird's nest or an Opera House, but for some reason people found this hard to believe. I carried Christine inside hoping not to wake her.Chapter over. Its 2 am here and im tired so i am going to bed. Writing a whole forty words really took it out of me! I might add more to this chapter tomorrow. And by the way I have no idea how to add pages.. This might explain why your stories tend to consist of an opening chapter marooned on its own..?Tags:badfic, kidnapping, lack of punctuation, raoul misspelled, raul(6 comments | Leave a comment)From:newmoonstar Date:August 31st, 2013 07:41 am (UTC) **(Link)**Oh dear. Twelve year old fics should probably be excused for being bad, but yikes kids, if you're gonna put it on the internet, please at least know how to use punctuation and capitalization appropriately. For the love of god.(But I have to tell you that your reference to the soporific effect of lettuce totally made my whole day. That's been one of the most frequently used Beatrix Potter references at my house since I was a little kid. Gotta spread the Flopsy Bunnies love, yo!) ;D(Reply) (Thread) From:igenlode Date:September 1st, 2013 12:12 pm (UTC) **(Link)**Oh dear, the story's disappeared; I hope that wasn't on my account... *feels dreadful now*(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) From:kryss_labryn Date:September 7th, 2013 12:49 pm (UTC) **(Link)**Oh, but who cares about that sort of stuff, anyways? I mean, most people are just putting it up to share with a few close school chums; how is she supposed to help it if a few hundred complete strangers don't like her utter lack of capitalization? I mean, it's fanfiction.net, for heaven's sake. It's not like it's a personal blog or something where she could post it and have only the people she wanted to read it have access to it or something... *eyeroll*-I--I just had a terrible, hilarious thought. Do you suppose these kids think there is some kind of vetting process that happens when they upload stories? Or if they don't get removed? Like, there's some kind of editorial staff that reads and approves stories, so if your fic is up there (and/or stays up there) it means that someone with the power to remove it independently thought it was good?When fanfic.net was very new I didn't review anything because I thought they had actual people who reviewed things. Like, probably not paid, but, like, volunteer reviewers or something; surely no one cared what I thought and to leave a review myself would be terribly presumptuous (shut up; it was like 1991 and I was like 20 or something lol). So perhaps these guys figure they should post this stuff to ff.net instead of on their own private blog (assuming anyone has one anymore; or is everyone just on FaceBook these days?) because they think it means something besides the ability to check "I agree" and hit an upload button? Because sometimes, I wonder...(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) From:igenlode Date:September 8th, 2013 03:40 am (UTC) **(Link)**That particular story was hosted on Wattpad rather than FF *trying hard not to let slip the vestige of a link here for fear of setting off the spam-filtering again*. I get the impression that the Wattpad crowd tend to be younger -- and because of the way the site works, the chances of any given story's being seen by any random reader unless they are a friend of the author, or unless it has already been voted on by thousands of readers, are vanishingly small. I got precisely thirteen page hits, zero votes and zero comments for the Phantom story I posted there ("Beyond the Abyss"), despite active promotion on several occasions: if this girl has never attempted to advertise her work, she can be pretty certain that only her friends will see it.Wattpad very rashly permits 'real person' fiction in its fanfic category: as a result, almost the entire fanfiction section consists of teenage fantasies about boyband members, which swamp everything else. I just happened to come across that particular story by running a tag search on 'phantom' to check that I'd got the tags on my own story correct. At least on FF you've got some chance that complete strangers looking for new stories might stumble across your work by accident, provided it's in the right category: one reason why I've almost given up on Wattpad, though I'm grateful to the site because being recommended to upload my old work there did get me writing again after a long hiatus. The other reason was that I got attacked (by a third party, via PM) for for 'persecuting' a promising teenage writer by leaving unsolicited beta-reads on her work: ironic, because I didn't even bother with the hopeless authors, only the ones whose work was reasonably enjoyable and could actually be improved by fixing a few basic points...Edited at 2013-09-08 03:50 am (UTC)(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) From:kryss_labryn Date:September 7th, 2013 12:50 pm (UTC) **(Link)**--Wait, spam?That last post was marked as spam according to the community settings, apparently. The hell?(Reply) (Thread) From:igenlode Date:September 8th, 2013 02:54 am (UTC) **(Link)**This community often seems to be marking my own comments as spam; so far as I have been able to analyse, it's triggered by including links of any kind in your replies, although it also marked my comment as spam when I used the 'we will log you in after post' feature to attempt to comment without having been logged in first... I think the spam-filtering settings may be a bit over-enthusiastic :-(I have the complete text of your comment as it was posted in reply to one of my own and I have notifications enabled; unfortunately I don't seem to be able to un-spam it... *fiddles with links in email*Ah, here goes! (Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
igenlode
newmoonstar Date:August 31st, 2013 07:41 am (UTC) **(Link)**Oh dear. Twelve year old fics should probably be excused for being bad, but yikes kids, if you're gonna put it on the internet, please at least know how to use punctuation and capitalization appropriately.