Citazioni Tommy Cooper (original) (raw)
Inglese Russo Tedesco Spagnolo Francese Italiano Portoghese Polacco
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Drinking Funny Humor
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
Funny Home Humor
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure
Funny Humor Indecisive
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
Bullshit Funny Humor
A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot.
Blow Funny Humor
Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'
Doe Taste Two
I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
Funny Humor Window Shopping
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Funny Humor Men
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Funny Humorous Motivation
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
Crazy Funny Silly
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Assistants Dog Funny
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
Funny Humor Lunch
I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
Funny Humor Violin
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."
Funny Humor Men
I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!
Scotch Three Whiskey
So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."
Beautiful Funny Girl
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
Camouflage Funny Humor
So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
Funny Humor Turtles
Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.
Couple Funny Humor
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Funny Humor Two
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