TOOT. TOOT. TOOT. That's "my" horn that I'm tooting... (original) (raw)
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Apr. 28th, 2014 | 09:45 pm
A Maekuzuki from 2001, that I hadn't thought of for many years.
The first two lines were posted as the challenge, and I, writing under my Pen Name of W. V. Kahler, wrote the response. The notes following were written by Jane Reichhold, giving her interpretation of what we each, individually, may have intended. Jane Reichold is a publish author and authority, on Japanese styles of Poetry.
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FIRST WIN OF 2001
pinned-back ears and wagging tail
peak over the garbage can
................................Kimi Rose
Scanning the wet streets
All senses at full alert
Hunting the next trick
..............................W. V. Kahler
Maybe a word of explanation why this link was picked as winner will clarify how linking works. As you see in the first link we have the images indicating a dog and a garbage can. W. V Kahler's link starts out ambiguous enough with the first two lines that could apply to the actions of a dog so the reader feels these lines are an elaboration of the scene. Then whap! in the very last word, Kahler changes the subject of the poem from a dog to a prostitute. By using the euphemism of "trick" for prostitute, the reader is, even in the moment of realizing that the subject has been switched, still able to make a slim connection to the dog due to our thinking of "dogs - tricks - trick dog". Beyond this and much deeper, is the social implication that such women are treated 'like dogs'. Also, I see the word "hunting" in the last line. This again associates the person with the dog. Because the first verse did not say "dog" but kept the image only by implication, Kahler continued this mood perfectly. Kahler also kept the scene the same (the alley) while skillfully moving the emphasis from a dog to a person. This link is absolutely genius. It is this shift that is so admired in renga writing and in doing the maekuzuki. Thanks for all the links! Jane Reichhold
Maekuzuki (If you follow the link, scroll down to HOW THE MAHEECOOZOOKAY CAME TO BE, for some history.