Hungry Jess part 10 (original) (raw)
As worksafe as a chapter about wrestling, perving and pseudo-Victorian medical practices can be. Outgoing Informational Reference Links, however, are NOT all worksafe.
new_kate has put staggering amounts love and buttkicking into getting me to write this, because she is awesome. ♥
Part the: First | Second | Third | Fourth | Fifth | Sixth | Seventh | Eighth | Ninth
The Legend of Hungry Jess Thimbleton
~and Other Tall Tales~
Personages:
Goku ~as~ Hungry Jess Thimbleton, a fearless pioneer whose luck, strength and appetite are known throughout the territories.
Sanzo ~as~ Deadeye Sally MacGruder, sharpest shot west of the Mississip’. The only thing quicker than her revolvers is her foul temper.
Gojyo ~as~ Chief Iron Rod aka Clarence DuFay. A lecherous mulatto bandit from Louisianne, infamous for his dashing good looks, trademark war bonnet and fancy riding. Known kidnapper, drunkard and ravisher of women everywhere.
Hakkai ~as~ William P. Quincy, a demure school teacher from Duxberry, Massachusetts, who moved West with his sister and her new husband.
and
Nataku ~as~ Jenner Birch, Jess’s Rival.
Hakuryuu ~as~ White Lightning, a Faithful Steed.
Kougaiji ~as~ Wyatt the Red, Gentleman Bandit.
Dokugakuji, Yaone and Lirin ~as~ Dolly, Nancy and Lacy Varley, Wyatt’s Gang
Homura ~as~ Mr. Grover Teasdale, Son of a Railroad Tycoon.
Zenon and Shien ~as~ Cormac Finn and Yu Yun, Teasdale’s Henchmen.
Rinrei ~as~ Miss Catalina Barnes of the Savannah Barnes, a Lady.
also featuring
Hazel ~as~ Sheriff Eustace Brewer, an agent of Love and/or Justice.
Gato ~as~ A Giant.
Koumyou ~as~ Eveline MacGruder, Matron of the Crystal Peak Sanitarium.
and
Nii ~as~ Dr. Vernon Borowitz (alias), a Quack.
~Part the Tenth~
Plain Facts about the Hysteric and Nervous Disorders
~for couples~
Jess hardly had time to get up to speed before Jen was hard on his heels, practically breathing on his neck, his gangly arms flashing in the corner of Jess's eye.
“Now, you know I won the footrace last time,” he said.
“Y'did not!” Jess barked, “We tied.”
Jen tipped back his head and laughed, and Jess saw red, and the next thing he knew they were a quarter mile away, skidding to a stop in the dirt.
"Pinned ya again," Jen said, lounging on top of him like a particularly self-satisfied and immobile cat. Jess squirmed and hooked a leg over his thigh, trying for any sort of leverage.
"Y'ain't won yet," he insisted, arching hard against him, baring his teeth in Jen's face. "Y'ain't-"
*
"You're right, Nancy, the mother of pearl combs are just right with this shawl." Eveline MacGruder smiled at her maid reassuringly, gratified that she could comfort the shy girl with such a simple kindness (In fact, Eveline had worn the same reassuring smile every day since she'd perfected it at the age of sixteen. They type of smiles she'd worn at night, however, had undergone a radical expansion in form, mood and vocabulary since she'd met Dr. Borowitz some three years previously.).
"Oooh, this one!" Catalina cooed, fingering some stiffly ruffled silk confection. "Lavender would look simply divine on you, Salome!"
"Catalina, dear, don't you think that's a bit elaborate for a simple lunch?" Eveline said, gently. "Maybe best to save that one for some special occasion?"
Catalina caught her meaning and winked at her conspiratorially, (she was much quicker than she let on, the sly dear, though Eveline had yet to get her interested in literature or social reform). "Why, yes! I'm sure some special occasion will come up before too long," she giggled.
Eveline glanced over at her daughter, who was glaring weakly at them from her hiding place behind the oriental screen (she'd been back there since they'd rid her of her worn out traveling gear and treated her to a lovely bath with attar of rose and that sandalwood oil that reminded Eveline of her time in India. Dolly had been exceptionally helpful in holding her down.).
"Salome, darling, you're looking downright peaked," Eveline noted, pouring a dollop of thick, milky liquid into the cap of her elegant little silver flask. "Here, have a nip of the liver tonic. It's a bit heady at first, but you get used to it."
"Mother, you know that stuff does nothing for your liver," she said, turning her face to one side disapprovingly.
Eveline shrugged and daintily slugged back the bitter tonic herself (she'd have to remember to put less juniper in the next batch, and perhaps a hint more ginger). Sally retreated behind the screen, scowling as Catalina advanced on her, brandishing a Damask tea dress.
*
The box was quite heavy for its small size, and the weight shifted slightly when tilted with a soft clink like glass. The label pasted to the lid read:
Dr. Borowitz's Rectal Dilation Home Therapy Kit
~for couples~
"My own design, you know," Borowitz smirked, "Hand crafted for me by a family of artisans in West Virginia. Delicate glass-work has been their specialty for generations."
"Ah," William said, shortly "I see."
"Aren't you at least going to open it," Clarence murmured, standing comfortably too close, as if he were about to drape himself indiscreetly over William's shoulder. William gave him a pointed look, and he swayed a quarter-inch closer, his lashes set at a seductive half-mast. His fingers were dark against the grain of the flimsy pine box, and darker against William's own hand. He pressed William's thumb against the catch, opened the lid, and sucked in a shaky breath. William tore his eyes from Clarence's profile and forced himself to glance at the contents of the box. They were. Well.
"Great for muscle soreness and headaches, and instrumental in a number of the special therapies we've developed here at Crystal Peak." Borowitz told him, his black eyes glittering in the shadows of the cluttered study. "A full examination will be necessary for a more complete diagnoses, but you've all the superficial signs of nervous tension. You really must look after your health, my dear boy! Perhaps medical oversight for your first usage would be-"
"Unnecessary, thank you. The instructions are rather... graphic," William said, eying the diagrams. He wasn't sure if he wanted Clarence to back off or be much, much closer at the moment. The Sheriff glanced at them with poorly concealed distaste, but dropped his gaze back to his own kit when William caught his look.
"Well," Borowitz continued, smirking even wider, "Next, how about a peek into the hydrotherapy room? We've worked up some very exciting designs for the treatment of hysteric and nervous disorders. Revolutionary really, if I do say so myself."
*
Lacy Varley frowned, plunked the opera glasses on the sill and blew her shaggy bangs out of her eyes. She'd had high hopes when she saw those two kids runnin out into the desert that somethin excitin might finally be happenin round this place, but after just one tackle and a little rollin around they'd gotten borin again. The blond boy'd had the other one pinned for an awful long time. She figured he must be winnin.
Her sisters were off somewhere doin borin girl stuff, an' Wyatt was down in the kitchen, but she'd just havta do stupid borin chores if she went down there. Maybe she'd go out to the stables and look at the new peoples' horses or somethin. Or, maybe she could go take a ride and shoot some jackrabbits. Yeah, and then Nan could make her some roast rabbit an' rabbit stew an' rabbit pasties an'...
Lacy Varley clattered down the stairs with an excited whoop, sling-shotted herself around the banister, barreled through the door and crashed directly into a very large, very hard heap of muscles. She looked up. And up. And up. And the biggest, muscliest man she'd ever laid eyes on looked down at her with a tiny, contented smile on his face. Oddly enough, his lap seemed to be vibrating.
*
Clarence was gaping openly at the pelvic hydrotherapy device as Borowitz demonstrated its controls to the Sheriff.
“Well, my boy, it seems you and my dear daughter are quite close.”
“I've merely come to return her gun to her, sir.”
“Come now, there's no need for such elaborate euphemisms with me! Your intimacy is clear as day to someone who knows her as well as I do. Have you popped the question yet? It would make Eveline and I most happy to have a fine young man such as yourself care for our little girl.”
The sheriff took a deep, steadying breath, his blue eyes gleaming. “I am honored you think so highly of me, sir.”
“That will never do. Call me Father. Yes, Eveline and I would love to keep both of you very close to us from now on. It does wear on her so when Salome goes astray. We're very worried about her health, you see. She's clearly a full-blown hysteric - it's been perfectly obvious to me from the second she arrived. Now, your average doctor will prescribe intercourse for a hysteric woman, but I've found in most cases that just isn't enough for a complete recovery. Highly successful treatment requires a certain... tenderness, you could say, a sensitive and skillful hand, and to that end I'd be happy to personally tutor you in the special therapeutic massage techniques we've developed, and of course, the use of your dilator kits. We very much believe in husbands taking an active role in the treatment of their wives, and vice versa; we find hysteric paroxym is much easier to attain when the masseur is ah, shall we say, well liked by the patient." Borowitz purred. "This dial here controls the speed of the pulses - highly effective, I think you'll find.
Now, if you'd all like to step over here to the electro-therapy chamber, I'll share with you the very latest developments in our research - We're amassing quite a lot of evidence that men, in fact, can suffer a condition very similar to hysteria. You see, it all began when we were in Tibet..."
*
"I keep telling you ducks that it's perfectly acceptable in Utah. How can you girls ever expect to get the vote if you keep waiting for the man to make these kind of decisions?" Eveline said, (though her help hadn't listened to her yet, when it came to men. Girls needed to make their own mistakes, she supposed.) "Catalina, dear, isn't that a bit tight?"
"Oh, honestly, Eveline, it's fine. Pull harder, Dolly, or I'll never fit into this accursed bodice."
Eveline sighed disapprovingly as the strapping young stable girl strained at Catalina's corset lacing. "All right. Just promise me you'll stop tight-lacing when you're with child. You too, Salome! No corseting once you get pregnant."
"Mother!" Sally blanched, her shoulder jerking under Eveline's hand.
"Do stop twitching, darling, or I'll end up pulling your hair."
“Salome, I must tell you how terribly impressed I was when you rode up. Three of them under your thumb and a whole posse whimpering behind! Magnificent, just magnificent." Catalina bubbled, only slightly breathless with the dreadful constriction of her waist.
"I knew you had it in you, darling," Eveline said proudly, pinning a golden curl into place.
"Which of them is your favorite? I rather fancy the mulatto, myself. With his chest bare for all the world to see- picture that one tupping a white ewe, hm? The one who helped you pick up the pitcher, Nancy, you remember. ” Catalina tittered.
Nancy blushed and nodded, ducking her head behind the stocking she was mending. "He did seem rather - ah - attached to the one with the spectacles, though," she said, softly, her flush creeping down her neck, "That is, um. Oh, dear, I didn't mean-"
Catalina giggled into her hand and Sally scowled at her reflection in the dressing table mirror.
"Of course you didn't, dear," Eveline said, gently. Once they were done dressing, she'd have Nancy get the suite next to the green room ready for those two young men; Vernon found them fascinating specimens, and would likely want to work late. (She'd just have to go and distract him if he wasn't in bed before she finished that letter to Victoria. Such a bright girl, if a bit confused at times.) "But, Salome, I rather fancied the young Sheriff."
"He walks with a certain elegance, doesn't he?" Catalina put in, excitedly.
"And he has such sensitive-looking hands."
"And the way he looked at you-"
Salome was very pale and faintly green. “He hasn't touched me!” she snarled.
“He hasn't?” Eveline asked, giving Salome's bangs a last fluff.
"Haven't any of them?" Catalina asked.
"NO."
"Well, no wonder you have them all so well in hand!" Catalina exclaimed, "But really, you mustn't tease them too much, or they'll lose interest!"
*
Jess was falling. Or it kind of felt like it. His mouth was tingling and he was falling like when you lie back on a big rock and feel the earth spin out from under you. And Jen's hair was sticking to his sweaty face, and the sun was shining through it like molten gold and, he thought dizzily, he was so not beaten yet.
"Rematch," he gasped, hauling hard on the back of Jen's neck.
Jen was solid as stone under Jess's hands. He grinned as he lowered himself, slowly, and boy was Jess hungry. He wasn't sure he'd ever been hungry like this before.
"Come on," he said, tugging, "Unless you're chicken," and Jen whispered, "You're on."