21 January 2006 - Seventeen Candles. (original) (raw)
05:16 am - Sigh.
Today has sucked. I haven't talked to Matt in two days and I have a feeling that he avoided me tonight because of his girlfriend. It kind of sucks to be blown off because you have feelings you can't make go away.
You're just damage control for a walking corpse like me.
Where are all my best friends when I need them? Oh yeah. They're out replacing me.
I hate feeling replaced. I don't think any of you know the feeling as good as I do.
My sister's friend "Chris Young" thinks I'm hot. I'm supposed to remember who he is, but I don't and his picture doesn't ring much of a bell. Not that it really matters. I guess I'm just grasping for self esteem.
05:41 am - I dream of the first kiss and who'll make the first move.
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
Fuck. *Slams head onto desk* Fuck. *Slams head onto desk*
I hate my love life. Hate hate hate it.
My blood vessels are breaking.
It hurts to hold back, so hold me or I might crack. I'm gasoline, you're the match. I'm not sure if we could handle that. It might explode. Could be a mess. I say we take the chance.
William, I need you to do me favor whenever you're done thinking about life's meaning or whatever it is you smart people do in your spare time.
06:53 pm - LAAAAAAA
HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO AMANDA.
Everyone is growing up. I feel so so so young. Like everyone is old except for me and Natalie.
Natalie, call me asap. It's not an emergency or anything, I just want to taaaalk about stuff.
Oh, Matt's girlfriend wasn't mad. That's neat.