Jesus Quotes! (original) (raw)
| | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 10:24am 16/01/2006 | | | | | jesus: so he lost his dog and got a wife?judas: i'd rather have the dog, less bitchy and a dog can catch squirrels.jesus: i'd like to see a wife do that.---jesus: ...they were fucking so loud it woke me up out of a sound sleep. i kept hearing "oh my god, oh my god" and that kid pounding away.i was two seconds from rnning in there and slapping him on the ass.judas: but that was your sister having sex?jesus: what do i care? it would have been priceless to see their faces. | | | | | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
| | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 12:18pm 12/01/2006 | | | | | "I'm not walking around campus in a toga. When the RA's see us what are they gonna think? 'Oh they're just going to play yahtzee!'" ~jesus | | | | | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
| | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 12:14pm 10/09/2005 | | | | | I was trying acid yesterday and you know how it's supposed to make you like hallucinate and stuff? It didn't work, it just kinda tasted like black cheery licorice...i hate licorice~jesus | | | | | | ( John 3: 4 | ~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
| | | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 11:16am 04/09/2005 | | | | | "My suspicion of the day: Karl Rove bumped off Rhenquist to distract attention from the hurricane."~jesus | | | | | | ( John 3: 1 | ~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
| | | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 08:48pm 31/08/2005 | | | | | "If he's ready to shoot up, he's ready to shoot in. Now give me my 10 year old!" ~jesus | | | | | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
| | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 12:56am 30/07/2005 | | | | | ~jesus: you feel like your ears are bleeding when you're stoned and i feel like i shit my pants. | | | | | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
| | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 09:00pm 23/07/2005 | | | | | "I can't tell if a a guy is goodlooking or hot or whatever. but i can tell when they're ugly, like when they have an eye on their chin or something." ~jesus | | | | | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
| | | | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | 09:44pm 13/06/2005 | | | | | judas~"You're such a bad fake lesbian kisser"jesus~"But i'm a real lesbian!?!"~jesus | | | | | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | | | | | |
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| 10:08pm 17/05/2005 | | |
| | mood: 
good "No one wears a helmet in a car"~jesus"Can I have some of your sperm?"~jesus | | |
| | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | |
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| 03:03am 11/05/2005 | | |
| | mood: 
amused "while i consider myself to be a benelovent-ish dictator, i will institute some invasive security measures." ~jesus | | |
| | | (~jesus crackers anyone?) | |
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