geminigirl, posts by tag: family - LiveJournal (original) (raw)

geminigirl, posts by tag: family - LiveJournal By the time you read this the world will have changed

		Groan Phone call from my mother tonight..."Your father and I are sitting on a bench, outdoors, having a romantic dinner... at Huntington Hospital."Okay...1. Huntington is nowhere near their house and 2. My parents don't do romantic dinners, especially not outdoors and 3. What?Apparently my younger brother, who has already had a difficult year (split with his longtime girlfriend, hospitalized for bipolar disorder several times, serious reaction to one of his medications, fired from his job for "taking too much sick time" and hasn't found another yet, etc.) got himself a motorcycle (big mistake for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that he's not the most attentive person and one needs to be extra vigilant on a motorcycle) and managed to get into a very serious accident tonight. He's in surgery right now to repair his busted shoulder, and damaged knee. Apparently the accident was serious enough that, according to the hospital staff, this type of accident often leaves people dead or with traumatic brain injuries. My brother lives alone, so the recovery from this should be interesting. Mom and Dad are supposed to go away for three days tomorrow, and I almost certainly won't be able to get a flight out of here tomorrow...thought Mom says not to come up. We'll see what happens after the storm passes, and if Mom changes her mind.The story that Mom got from my brother as she passed it on to me was that he was riding the bike, someone in a car pulled out in front of him and stopped, and he hit the car and was thrown from the bike. (This also reinforces my objection to zedrikcayne getting a motorcycle. It's not that I don't trust him on a bike, it's that too many drivers don't know how to share the road with motorcycles.) sigh Family.Tags: family

		Family Traditions I left my phone nearby, knowing I'd get a phone call that would go something like this:"Where is randomcountry,(usuallyoneinAfrica)?""Inrandom country, (usually one in Africa)?""In randomcountry,(usuallyoneinAfrica)?""Inappropriate geographical area.""What about otherrandomcountry?""It′sinother random country?""It's in otherrandomcountry?""It′sinappropriate geographical description""I've never even heard of most of these places.""I know that. You say that every time we watch the Olympics, Mom.""Well I still don't know where these places are. How come you know?""Because I had to know where some of these places were back in high school Mom.""Well Africa wasn't like that when I was in high school."It's the same conversation we have every two years during the Olympics. And I point that out to her. It's like the conversation we'd have every year during Yom Kippur when we'd recite the Al Chait ("alphabet of sins") and Mom would lean over and say to me "What's Xenophobia?" As Tevye said..."Tradition!"Tags: family

		What a weekend It's been a bang up weekend. Yesterday was productive. This morning I got up, changed the sheets, and made waffles. I followed the impending baby news, and Cayne mowed the lawn. I paid bills and then we rather suddenly decided to go to a movie. We checked on the schedule and decided to go see Hairspray. I had high expectations and was pleasantly surprised. Cayne liked it more than I expected him to. I may send the soundtrack and a gift certificate to my Mom, who would probably enjoy it.Dinner is now in the oven, and I'm recording the JK Rowling interview on Dateline NBC so that Cayne doesn't get spoiled by any of the things she said. Speaking of such things-he wants to know if he should put his "Snape is Loyal" or his "Snape will betray" sticker up. I know the answer, because I finished the book already, but he doesn't. Do I tell him, or not? (Any comments with spoilers will be screened...)Tags: cayne, everyday life, family, hp

		Ring Ring Ring Ring Poll #1029618 Ring Ring Ring Ring Cell-O-Phone Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None. Participants: 8 I got a new cell phone. If you want the number leave me a contact number or e-mail address to send it to. View Answers Do you want me to have your number or address? Leave it here. View Answers The short version...zedrikcayne has had an AT&T/Cingular/various iterations of cell phone for a long time. However, his phone is old enough that as AT&T cuts service to analong and older stuff, he needed to replace his cell phone. My phone was in fine working order, but, we were paying for two separate plans, it seemed to make more sense to get a family plan. The only way to do that was sadly, to lose the number I've had for quite a while. So, I have a new cell number. If you want it (or think I have a cell number that's yours and is probably several years old since the last time I updated phone numbers was when I got the phone we replaced) please provide contact info. :)We thank you for your support.Tags: everyday life, family, info-contact

		We got the Notice of Action on our petition for immigration. :) Our interview appointment is June 18th...which, while I had tentatively planned to head up north at the end of June to see family and celebrate Dad's birthday and all that, but we can wait until after the appointment to leave. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly, we'll get his stamp right then and there, and be done with this, for a while. June 18th is six days after our second anniversary, which means we may even be able to skip the "conditional green card" part, and just get the permanent card. Waiting for the attorney to e-mail me back about documents that have been filed, and that haven't been. I'll be glad when it's done.Tags: cayne, everyday life, family, immigration

		We had a really pleasant weekend. Saturday we spent the day with friends, and it culminated in a spontaneous barbecue, and great conversation about faith, feminism, religion, Florida, atheism, art and comics. Sunday we got stuff done at home. Monday, zedrikcayne woke up with a nasty cough. In fact, I put my hand on his chest as we were waking up, and stuck my fingers in green mucous, which he apparently coughed up in his sleep. So, I told him to make a doctor's appointment for that afternoon, after the urologist appointment. The poor guy has walking pneumonia. He'll be okay, but he's feeling icky right now...I suppose a few days until he feels better.Yeah, the urologist. That. The news was less than stellar. Not tragic, but not as good as we'd hoped-there are still issues. Dr W., upon hearing our story of being walked in on in the middle of giving the sample, gave us the horrified home alone face-you know the one with the jaw dropping and hands to cheeks in horror. He commented that it was in fact the "worst semen sample story ever." But yeah. The news could have been better. It could have been a lot worse. It is what it is, Dr W seems to think we can work with it, and I'll talk to Dr. P and see what he says when I see him on April 12. I'm not sure I want to talk more about it right now. I'm angry, sad, upset, frustrated, and more. Instead, I'll talk about my Passover menu. I'll probably make another, separate post about Passover itself, and doing it on my own this year, but my menu...that's much cheerier than anything else. And that is in fact, what I need at the moment. Cheering. ( tentative non-vegeterian Pesach menu Collapse ) Tags: cayne, celebrations, cooking, everyday life, family, fertility, holiday

		Hello from "upper Canadia" We're currently in Sudbury (and amazingly enough, my father in law allowed zedrikcayne to install wireless, under the guise of not being able to connect to his work e-mail without the firewall. So, I'm not as cut off from the world as I usually am being up here.It's rather green and unseasonably warm...there were some snow flurries, but nothing on the ground, and daytime temperatures have generally been above freezing. Temperatures are supposed to drop later this week though, to about -11 c/12 f. We're here in Sudbury until January first, then we'll go to Hamilton, where we'll stay overnight, go to Niagra falls on 1/2 and drive up to Toronto that day, then in Toronto on 1/3. We leave in the evening on the third. Our plans on the third include a visit to the CN tower and a trip to Lee Valley Hardware (since there isn't one in Sudbury) if anyone want to join us. We're returning our rental car at around 5 or so, and heading to the airport. For the rest of the time in Sudbury, to keep myself from going stir crazy, I'm going to go to the movies tomorrow, with my sister in law and mother in law, we'll check out the boxing week sales at some point, and probably go to Science North with our nephew. Boxing week purchases will include our holiday cards for next year, and possibly a new camera, since ours is dying. (The LCD screen has gone in it, and it's probably going to cost more to fix it than to replace it.) That's the story from here, the room with the thumping headboard. (Everytime you move in this bed, the headboard hits the wall. And it's not attatched to the bed either.) I think I'll have a cookie and go to bed. I hope you're all enjoying a nice holiday season, whatever you're honoring at this time of year.Tags: canada, celebrations, family, holiday, travelCurrent Location: My in laws basement, Sudbury, ON Peace of mind?: cold

		ketchup We arrived home on Monday night, and were exhausted. We had a mostly pleasant visit with my family-my sister only spent one day with us, which made things even more pleasant. Though I like my siter well enough, she plays martyr far too often for my taste, when it comes to their house and the cats. (My sister is allergic to cats, but refuses to take allergy medication before she visits my parents, and so she whines about how miserable she feels and my mother caters to her because of it.) Mom and Dad had to put one of the cats down over the weekend. It wasn't surprising, it was kind of anticipated-she was 20 years old, and had a long life, but she'd gone deaf, and was having dementia, and kidney failure, and it was time. Still sad though. Mom's cat Baker took to Cayne and I though, and was apparently rather upset for a day or two after we left. The Thanksgiving meal was lovely. ( the menu, for those who want to know Collapse )We played the TV version of "Scene It" after dinner, which was amusing. The random trivia we could pull out was interesting. (Who knew, for example, that the theme song from "Welcome Back, Kotter" was so recognizable, or that I remember the words to the theme song from "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", which I perhaps saw twice.) Friday, despite my absolute desire not to shop on Black Friday, we went to Marburn Curtain Warehouse to try and find tablecloths and curtains for the bedroom and kitchen. I found something that might work in the master bedroom-need to put it up against the walls and stuff to see how it looks. We'll see. It just needs something. We also visited a pet store, were they have a giant pleco who likes to be petted on the nose. Someone was pricing the large fish in the pond where the pleco lives, and I overheard him being told that he wasn't for sale, but a fish like him would cost several thousand dollars. While up there, I also went to see the new Christopher Guest movie "For Your Consideration" with Diane. It was okay as movies go, but disappointing as Christopher Guest movies go, if that makes sense. Sunday, we headed for New Jersey to ring with our former handbell choir, and visit a friend. I needed that visit. I needed to remember what it felt like to really be part of a community, and connected that way to people. I miss that. And it was good to see Chips again, and catch up.I ran around on Monday trying to get chocolate making supplies, but that didn't happen-the place that I liked had a fire earlier this year, and we never did manage to find their new location. I don't want to pay for shipping, but if I have to I will. What I really wanted though, was to check out their molds. I need to replace some molds that are kind of warped, and I wanted new holiday molds. I am, however, very glad to be home. I may not love Florida, but I do love that I have my own home.I need to head to the grocery store shortly, and pick up some things. I need to decide if I feel inspired enough to write 1500 words for an anthology, or if what I'm considering as a topic just sucks. Two photos from Thanksgiving coming in a separate post. And now, I can write about World AIDS Day tomorrow without feeling like I should have written about Thanksgiving.Tags: celebrations, everyday life, family, holiday

		There are a tonne of reminder posts about voting on my f'list these days. I've read them all. I think also_huey's post was particularly interesting. Huey (who is fabulous, by the way) also pointed me at this.I'll vote. Probably late in the morning, but we'll see. I spent quite a bit of time checking out and deciding on the ballot amendments, especially on Vote Smart, Florida's website. In other, less exciting news about life, we went to the local Ren Faire over the weekend and were very disappointed. We'll probably check out some of the other ones in the next few months. We'll skip Sarasota, because it's this weekend and next weekend...this is our only free weekend until December, and the following weekend is Pirate Festival. But, we'll check out Gainsville and probably Tampa. We're both looking forward to the Pirate Fair...a little bit of a change from Ren Faires. We're going to be on Long Island (at Mom and Dad's) for Thanksgiving-we arrive Tuesday, and come back Monday. We haven't decided on any visitation plans yet, but we might try and do a whirlwind Jersey Tour on Saturday or Sunday if anyone wants to see us. I need to shop for some clothes, and I need new shoes for Canada-my sister in law had serious admonishments over my choice of Doc Maartens in the snow last year. She complains they have no traction. I trust her, after the slipping and sliding I did, and am considering a different pair of shoes. I probably need new jeans too-it's hard to say when I don't wear them very often. I think I cast on the same knitting project about fifteen times, and the casting on is fine, but I'm going nuts trying to count stitches and I can't find any stitch markers. I have some yarn I bought over the weekend that turns out to be too lightweight for the project I'd planned it for, so I'll exchange the three skeins I haven't wound for something bulkier, and pick up some more stitch markers. I'll keep the stuff I wound and toss it into the scrap yarn project-knitted patches done in a basketweave and a cable pattern (note to self, buy cable needle as well) and probably crocheted granny squares. Not necessarily turned into the same afghan, but we'll see, as I complete things. I am a little bit looking forward to cool weather that we'll get in New York and in Canada. I enjoy the little bits of it that we get when we visit. I'm looking forward to more house -organizing, like acquiring bookshelves, and proper storage for craft things. And other stuff.Eh, it's life. It keeps happening.Tags: activism, canada, celebrations, crafts, everyday life, family, holiday, meme, politics

		In honor of Halloween... Wayne and Garth's Top 5 Worst Treats for Trick or Treaters5. Pennies4 Pop Rocks3. Taffy Apples2. Hurl1. MungIn other news, we had a pleasant housewarming, and a nice visit with my in laws. My mother in law did drive me nuts, a bit, but not in an intolerable way. She wouldn't sit still, and insisted on doing things like vaccuming and folding laundry. I felt like my house was being invaded. I tried out a new recipe, and it was just a generally pleasant visit. And, it's nearly 4 PM and we've had no Trick or Treaters.Tags: celebrations, family, holiday, house, pop culture, silly

		Blue I'm feeling very blue today. I'm not sure if it's the weather (grey and rainy, alternating with bright, sunny and hot) or hormones (off the pill about two weeks) or something else.Maybe it's the fact that it's almost October, and I want to be drinking hot tea, and pulling out my favorite sweaters and watching the leaves change colors, not drinking sweet tea, being cranky because none of the stores carry shorts down here at this time of year and it's silly to carry wool sweaters when there's not much need unless one is travelling, and thinking that it might finally get to be cool enough to enjoy our back yard. I'm feeling like a bad poly-partner lately, or a bad social worker, or both. I'm not sure which. And I might write a filtered post about that later. It involves relationships, neither of which are/were mine...although the result of one did have quite an impact on my life, it wasn't anything that I did, and that lesson took a long time to realize.Our new kitchen table arrived last weekend. It's not the table I wanted, but it will do. It's nice enough. My in laws are coming at the end of October. I don't complain much about them, because generally we're all fine together, but they're irritating me with this trip. We invited them for our housewarming (which is October 28, in case anyone wants to come) and they said they were coming. Only now they want to come on the 25th and leave on the 28th, so somehow, in the middle of prepping for our first big party, they're going to be here, and while they're content to just sort of hang around and relax, it also means figuring out things like taking them to the airport on the morning of the party, when we really need to be here getting ready for things. I need to start sorting out the menu-if I need to try out any new recipies, I have time to do it. And then there's my Mom. Who just took in five ferral kittens, bringing the current total in the house up to eighteen. I think she'll give at least two of them away, possibly three depending on how much she can socialize one who has been giving her trouble. But that's not what's weighing on my mind. Mom, as much as she wants grandchildren has been pushing me to wait. She's doing it because she's worried about my health, which is fine and reasonable and all that, but, at the same time, I saw the doctor at the beginning of September, I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to be, and no matter how firmly I say to her, "thank you for your concern, I'll take it under advisement, but the doctor seems to think it's fine" she won't be convinced, and the more firm I am about it, the more I stand up to her, the harder she pushes, and the more she tries to start a disagreement. She has a hard time respecting the boundaries I set about my life, and that's uncomfortable for me. I'll keep setting limits as best I can, and if it results in fighting with my mother, so be it. We'll fight, I'll get upset, and rant about it, I'll cool off for a few days, she'll cool off for a few days, and we'll apologize. It's not the cycle I'd like to be in, but conflict resolution in a calm and rational manner is not the way my mother deals with me, no matter how much I try. It's not what I'd deem unhealthy for me right now, but it's not the way I'd like to conduct things. I think she's gotten better since I got married, though. I've been on the metformin for a couple of weeks now and have been discovering the foods that it makes it hard to eat (white bread and potatoes, so far, though there are others that I've been afraid to try and eat because I'm not sure I want to deal with the insane sleepiness coupled with the yucky low blood sugar feeling that sometimes comes with making mistakes.) I'm not willing to give up entirely white bread or potatoes, but I'll have to be extra careful about when I choose to eat them. Despite some minor food issues, I feel incredible. I feel better than I have in a couple of years. Money of course stresses me out. We're getting new cell phones shortly, which means figuring out what to spend and what I need/want in a phone. Cayne will choose the phone most like his current Nokia brick that he can put his own ringtones on. I'm not sure what I want, whether I want a Treo or something similar, or something simpler. (We'll get the phones from Verizon Wireless, because they have a plan that's reasonable for calling to, and in Canada, so if you want to make phone suggestions for either of us, go for it.) And, we're getting to the point where purchasing a car is becoming iminent. We're hoping to hold out at least til tax time, and see what we can put together for a downpayment then. It's quite complicated to figure out what we can afford, what we want, what makes sense. What we want is something larger than what we drive now in a TBD affordable price range (monthly payment plus insurance) that will fit car seats easily, and is comfortable for both of us to drive. What I'd like is something smaller than the Impala wagons that my Mom drove until I was in college, but that still has station wagon or minivan type cargo space. Maybe Cayne will do the taco dance when he gets home, and cheer me up.Tags: body/health, cats, cayne, celebrations, everyday life, family, lj brain trust, poly Peace of mind?: Blue Burning down the house: "When the Stars go Blue" The Coors w/Bono

		What I didn't write about the 9/11 Anniversary My Dad still needs to talk to me on that day.The fear is still palpable. The shock of not knowing where my father was, the moment the towers collapsed and being certain that he was dead. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.And the guilt. The guilt that my Dad was okay, and so many other people weren't. What have we learned in five years? What have we given up? Are we safer now than we were then?I avoided as much of the news coverage as I could. I don't need to see it. I can still remember Michael racing down the stairs shouting that I should put CNN on, what channel was CNN. I remember Pat's voice on the phone telling me that Mom was at home trying to find out what happened to my father. I know what it felt like to call my Mom and tell her that I wasn't at work, that I was at home, and would stay there until I heard from her. I don't know if anything will ever take away the sheer terror of watching the towers collapse, knowing my Dad was still missing, and being able to do nothing but sit on the floor and scream and sob for several minutes. My heart races and my eyes tear thinking of it. Some news report said the other day said something about how things will never be the same as they were at 8:45 on 9/11/01. I don't know that that's true for everyone, but I do know that there are things that have changed for me forever.Tags: 9/11, family

		One would think One would think...that before ordering the invitations for the wedding, there would be a pretty solid idea of how many are needed.Unless you're my Mom, and you tell me to order 150 invitations, only to discover that the guest list is closer to 175. I'll call the invite place tomorrow and order another 25 and pay an arm and a leg for them...immediate family will get theirs a bit later than everyone else.At least my dress came in...a month early. Mom won't make it to my first fitting with me, so I need to see if someone around here can make it to Paramus for it. I'll probably ask LJ-less Patty to go.Tags: family, wedding

		Went to my parents' house for Passover. It was pleasant, mostly, though our Seder got a bit silly even before the wine. I think Cayne enjoyed his first Seder. One of Mom's grad students was there, along with her boyfriend. I like D. the grad student, but her boyfriend is kind of a jerk. According to Mom, D. wants to break up with him but is waiting until she finishes school, for economic reasons. I know that story, so when Mom mentioned that D. had asked about Passover, I told Mom that she ought to invite D. and boyfriend, because when I was in a similar situation, I really appreciated invitations to do stuff, to distract me from the mundane things. During Passover, my cousin Lauran called to tell us she had gotten engaged that day. Lauran and my sister are very close-they were even roommates for a while while both of them lived in Boston. Lauran and her boyfriend had been together for almost five years, and apparently Lauran had said "Either we get engaged by the time we have our fifth anniversary, or I move out." And her boyfriend complied-with just a few weeks to spare. (Side note: That sort of thing has always bothered me-it feels manipulative. It may not be, it just looks, on the surface to be that way. I've been in relationships where I've needed to know if there was a possibility of moving forward to the next stage, but not "this must happen or else.")My sister got on my nerves, as usual. My parents have cats...many cats. My parents have had cats for many many years...and my sister knows this. My sister has cat allergies. My sister also hasn't lived with my parents in many many years. So what does my sister do when she knows she's going to my parents house? Nothing. She fusses, complains, and whines and refuses to take appropriate medication, smokes like a chimeny, and generally decides to be miserable-my mother even offered to pay for a hotel room for her for Saturday night, while she was out there, and she refused. If my sister planned ahead, and took appropriate medication (namely Claritin) for a few days before she came to my parents, and while she was there, she would feel much better...she knows this. Instead, she prefers to complain. And the smoking thing-she chooses to smoke and whatever my feelings are on that, it's her choice. But she'll be 29 this year, and she feels the need to sneak around and do it. It's ridiculous...she's a grown up-grow some backbone. Yes, Dad will be disappointed (Mom knows about the smoking habit) but suck it up...it's your choice. And on the queer front...Mom, sister and I are in the kitchen together...and Mom relates the following anecdote: Mom was talking to a cousin of hers recently, to sort out addresses and stuff for the wedding. It came up that the daughter of another cousin is a lesbian and had recently been artifically inseminated. Mom said something about how it must have come from the mother's side of the family (the father is a relative.) Cousin replies "Why? My (daughter's name) is gay." Mom wanted to fall through the floor. (Further evidence that Mom doesn't deal well with the queer thing...I'm not surprised at all by that faux pas) I can't say I'm surprised that there are other queer kids in my generation in the family, but I would honestly have had no idea which ones. This particular cousin is about three years younger than I am, and from Boston...I sort of wonder if she's crossed paths with any of my Boston-friends. Cousin and her partner are in fact, invited to the wedding. I said to Cayne that at least some of my family will appreciate our attention to inequality. ( and the part about menstruation, cut for the squeamish, but it's not graphic and if you skip it you miss an amusing conversation with my mother.Collapse ) Tags: celebrations, family, menstuation




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			"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow grow, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." -George Washington ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." -Henry David Thoreau, Walden ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself." - Anais Nin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"If sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities, it’s because they lead to the knowledge that you own your own body (and with it your own voice), and that’s the most revolutionary insight of all."-Erica Jong~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"There’s only one thing that I know how to do wellAnd I’ve often been told that you only can doWhat you know how to do wellAnd that’s be you,Be what you’re like,Be like yourself..."-They Might Be Giants~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"We are Buck's Rock. We have, each of us, contributed to it, and once we give a part of ourselves to something we believe in, it becomes a part of us."-Ernst Bulova~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"A lot of people, when they talk about gay culture they have this idea that we all live in this sort of a big pink house, and that we share the same political and social and sexual views which is clearly not the case. I've sat at dinner tables with right wing homosexuals, and to me that's like being a vegeterian butcher."-Boy George





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